Grieving comes In weird ways!

The last week I been numb and one day I am so sleepy and sleep so much and then last night I couldn’t sleep and when I did doze off I was having nightmares.

I don’t feel I have closure or can grieve the way I want to as I Havant done the funeral yet as it’s next Tuesday and I am trying to hold myself together but I can feel the pain heavy in my heart.

I guess I’m scare to cry because it feels like I’m going to die so I have shut down something I have become good at but I know this is having a huge impact on my mental health.

I dreamt of my dad the other night he seemed happier I just hope he is and I hope his not angry with me for not being able to help him.

I’m hurting but I’m scared to let go it’s a weird feeling!