A lifetime

The darkness is like a heavy blanket,
That surrounds my shattered soul
That has stolen all my happiness ,
And has been replaced with an immense sadness ,
That only another grieving mother
could know.

I struggle with so many emotions
That occupy my daily thoughts,
One minute I can be coping
The next minute I am not,
The tears can start flowing,
From a memory that just creeps on up.

I feel numb
I feel inner pain
I feel sadness
Some days I feel like I’m going insane.

My grief is for a lifetime
Time will never heal my broken heart,
I’ve just found a way to carry it,
So that it is hidden from those I love.

I have become good at hiding
What has now become apart of me.
But behind my I am fine and
The smile I wear on my face,
Is the grief ,my living nightmare
A pain that has changed my entire life.

I am no longer the same person
I’ll never will be who I once was,
I now fight an invisible battle,
To survive, to just hold on.

My love for my family
For my other beautiful kids
Is what keeps me fighting ,
Please give me the strength to carry it.

Time is like a prison sentence
Of which there is no escape,
It started when I lost you,
It will end at heaven’s gates.

I hate that this is now my reality
I wish to God it wasn’t true,
That I would wake up from this nightmare,
That I could wrap my loving arms around you.

I would give anything to see you
To tell you I love you so,
I’d trade places with you in
heaven my beloved son,
You deserved to live a life filled with happiness and love.

Some days are worse than others
Some days I want to die,
Some days I struggle to function,
Some days all I do is cry.

I know you wouldn’t want me
To live my life this way,
But I am forever heartbroken
It’s a grief that will never go away.

I think about the good times
I think about the bad,
I think about your future,
One now you’ll never have.

I want to find peace
I want to feel happiness in my soul,
But the only way I’ll have it,
Is when I too make heaven
my forever home 💔💔💔💔💔🖤💔💔💔💔💔

Jimmy...Forver in my heart...forver loved ... forever missed ... can't wait to see you again ❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️🖤💔❤️