I Know Pain, Grief And Suffering

I don't share this openly often, nor should I, as I often want it away

Now.... everytime is a new experience, I know my life is upside down in some way from his death (but that is also unequivocally my doing too)
I don't have an easy time with the beginning of summer now.

I wish it was different.
And I have grown somewhat accustomed.
For the last two years I have learned to not go to the cottage
(where he drowned)
too much sadness, and I haven't told many this, I watched his body (binoculars) pulled up by the police diver (I was the only one) and I don't know to take that.

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Mamapolo2016 · F

I think most adults over thirty have at least one memory, not exactly like that, but one that makes you wish you could ‘clear memory’ like you can on a computer.

A counselor once told me, ‘Don’t obsess over it but when it comes, let it stay a while. Memories are at their most painful when they still shock us. If we can think about them, they can lose some of their power.’

I don’t know if that has any real validity. I just pass it along for you consideration.

SW-User

@Mamapolo2016 It does. Chances are, years ago I wouldn't have shared this the way I did, not even to the friend I originally wrote it too.

That's my contribution to a friend who is going through grief right now in a way she doesn't know me.

Mamapolo2016 · F

@SW-User Yes. It’s hard to share grief because we usually think ours is unique. In some ways that’s true but in others .... grief is universal.

SW-User

@Mamapolo2016yet rarely that matters when grief strikes someone, as their grief is their own.

Mamapolo2016 · F

@SW-User Yes, it is. And we guard it jealously, too often.

SW-User

@Mamapolo2016 Possibly, if grief can be understood that way.