I want you to be proud of who you have become. We can't change the past and you're not going that way obviously, so don't replay that in your head. There's nothing wrong with you. It's only a passing thought that our brains do in just reviewing past things we have experienced in our lives. Treat it as nothing more. Keep being positive and concentrate on who you have become not who you were because you're just not that person anymore and if people want to judge you by your old self, that's really not your problem. If you allow it to become a problem then you'll become a people pleaser, so do not entertain your brains process of merely reviewing events in your life. Think of it like a radio in the room. The radio's playing but you don't have to pay attention to it you can do other things and simply take it as it is. You can tune it out or you can entertain it. Don't entertain your brains passing thoughts as it's only reviewing history. When you notice it doing that, just get your mind on something else. You can acknowledge the thought and that's okay, but then move on and do something productive. Don't allow it to upset you. You have to remember that there's always going to be somebody that doesn't like you or me. That's really not our problem. We can't just have everybody like us. It's okay. Give yourself permission to simply be genuine! You don't have to put on any fancy airs or shows for people, you really don't. I don't know why people can't forget your past but that's just the way people are. They love to keep you down for some reason. Like you say, probably just to make themselves feel better and they could be jealous of the new you and new friends you're making. Just be yourself and you'll be fine. People will love you for who you are. The good ones, that is. Don't keep replaying this in your head because if you do you're punishing yourself when you've come a long way and worked hard to get to where you are. So accept that. Accept yourSELF. Don't be down on yourself. You may be harder on yourself and it sounds like you are, then even others are, but then others can go fly a kite if they don't like you, right? Are these really people we need in our lives if they won't let us forget our past? You're so above that manipulation. Those are toxic people. Never listen to them again. Go on with your life and be happy. If you don't, you'll be miserable the whole rest of your life and life is just too short to worry about what other people think! Don't give those thoughts any more power than you have to. You're in control of that, so simply acknowledge the thought when it comes don't fight it. Simply acknowledge it's there, and it's not useful, so dismiss it and go on. But don't be so hard on yourself. You can make yourself miserable that way. You're fine just the way you are right this minute. That's what counts. There's no threat so don't let it swell up in your head to be one. Instead, be proud of who you have become and keep working on that but don't become obsessed with it. It's just not necessary. Our brains like to review our history and that's all it is, so don't give it more thought that it deserves. Start thanking God for who you have become and you should be very proud of that. And if people pass you and try to make those judgments I want you to smile and say oh yeah, well I'll tell you what I'm pretty proud of whom I've become, what happened to you? That will switch the subject back on them so they can reflect on their own crazy behavior. Maybe they'll say oh wow... maybe it is me maybe I'm the one that needs changing here, not him! And I would tell them you know what you're acting just like I used to act. You need to get your act together and stand up to them and they won't do that anymore if you say that. Or you can simply ignore them and be happy about that and that you don't need validation from them. We don't need validation of our worth from anyone but if you choose to address it you can do that too. It's not necessary but you could do that.
