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Have you had to deal with adult bullies? [I Hate Bullies]

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4meAndyou · F
Yes. I've been slapped repeatedly in the face, viciously pinched, kicked, and later in life, was slapped, punched in the eye, my lip split, my fingernail bitten off, and a large old and heavy television set held over my head while I was told that he was going to smash my head in with it. That was before he got drunk and threw a sofa at me.

Is the term for that "adult bully", or is it "criminal assault"?
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@4meAndyou both and he needed a knee to the groin. the thing with bullies if you get fed up enough to stand up to them and give them a dose of their own medicine they cower down.
CastorTroy · 31-35, M
@4meAndyou I would say a criminal assault and I hope he got what was coming to him and you got the hell out.
@cherokeepatti Or they pull a knife and escalate.
@4meAndyou Criminal assault is only one of the charges.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@Mamapolo2016 yeah it depends on the person who is doing it. I told my ex if he thought it would be good to beat me that I bruise very easily and I would not hesitate to go to the police and remove all the clothing necessary on my body (and I am a modest person) for the police to take photos for evidence and then I would press charges and not let them go and he had better sleep with one eye open for the rest of his life because I wouldn’t forget it
4meAndyou · F
@cherokeepatti @CastorTroy @Mamapolo2016 Bullies are cowards. Even if you are small, and unable to fight them physically, you can send them to jail.

I sent the ex to jail twice, the first time to sleep it off because he was scaring me and breaking furniture, and my son was only five and awake.

The second time, even though he had hit me in the head with the telephone, (big old fashioned one), I did not press charges because I didn't want his future employability to suffer. He was out of work for 5 years.

When he tried to attack my son in the same way he had attacked me with the television set, by holding a heavy wooden school chair over his head while he was down on the floor, I stood in the hall and told him to come here. It was like he was waking up from some weird dream. He walked over to me, and I whispered in his ear that if I EVER saw him do anything like that again he would be in jail so fast his head would spin.

And he knew I wasn't kidding. He never touched either one of us again, but the mental cruelty really escalated, along with the gaslighting.

Thankfully we are divorced and my son and I both got out of it alive.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@4meAndyou Do you know why he was out of work for 5 years? Due to his temper and attitude maybe?
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@4meAndyou Amen. And yes, you can put them in jail, but soon they'll get out of jail.
4meAndyou · F
@cherokeepatti No, although he WAS fired due to his temper and bad attitude from his last job, he had started his own glass business, and was self employed at the time. I took on a second job selling antiques and collectables on the weekends, thanks to my brother, who gave me his silver plated flatware business, probably out of pity.

He developed a disease called Spondyloarthropathy. It is a type of arthritis that attacks the spine. It can devolve into Reiter's syndrome in some individuals. The ex's first symptoms were horrible swelling in his hands and feet. He could not wear shoes at all...only moccasins and those had to be specially made. He had a lot of trouble walking because of the feet.

He worked in construction all his life, and his hands became swollen to twice their size.

During this 5 year period, he began to lose his mind. He saw a psychiatrist who put him on lithium.

He was looking at a future with a twisted spine, and the Reiters possibility would have caused his eyes to turn permanently red, and droop and weep. I had to quit my job at the Homeless Shelter and get out there and earn better money.

If he had not already been a bad tempered bully when drunk, he would have had reason to become worse when looking at this sort of future.

However, a miracle happened, and miracles DO exist even for people like the ex, and his disease went into remission after two years.

By that time he was in a deep, deep depression and it was extremely difficult to get him off his a$$ and into FREE re-training. He went to college on the State's dime because he was disabled, and is now an IT manager working in Braintree.
CastorTroy · 31-35, M
@cherokeepatti Good for you!!!