I Have Anxiety
I'm luckier than most. I don't get a lot of panic or anxiety attacks, but I do feel dread often. I once saw someone comparing it to the feeling that you're about to trip down the stairs, but the feelings is always there. That is also how it is for me, extremely stressful.
When I do have panic attacks, it's very painful. It's a total sensory overload. I can't breathe, hear, see, or even think because of how scary the entire thing is. My chest constricts and I seriously feel like I'm going to die. Pretty textbook, but things are textbook for a reason. It just sucks.
And it gets worse with social interaction. I become physically incapable of speaking. My mind either goes completely blank, or it races so fast I can't understand my own thoughts. When I am able to talk, I stutter, talk too softly, or talk too loudly. No matter what, I embarrass myself, and I feel more awful, and more awful. It's why I socialize almost exclusively online. I can reply whenever I want, people don't see me, and if I get uncomfortable I can just leave.
The internet, to me, was a godsend. But I understand that I have to wean off my dependency. I'm definitely better than I was a few years ago, but nowhere near the person I have to be.
When I do have panic attacks, it's very painful. It's a total sensory overload. I can't breathe, hear, see, or even think because of how scary the entire thing is. My chest constricts and I seriously feel like I'm going to die. Pretty textbook, but things are textbook for a reason. It just sucks.
And it gets worse with social interaction. I become physically incapable of speaking. My mind either goes completely blank, or it races so fast I can't understand my own thoughts. When I am able to talk, I stutter, talk too softly, or talk too loudly. No matter what, I embarrass myself, and I feel more awful, and more awful. It's why I socialize almost exclusively online. I can reply whenever I want, people don't see me, and if I get uncomfortable I can just leave.
The internet, to me, was a godsend. But I understand that I have to wean off my dependency. I'm definitely better than I was a few years ago, but nowhere near the person I have to be.
