Recently I have had it bad. I have generalised anxiety anyway. My medical might not help, being epileptic. But overall I'm sensitive and quiet. I hate the fact I doubt myself constantly. But I do. My exam was last week. And I genuinely thought I wasn't going to pass it. The lecturer is quick at getting back with the results. I really didn't want to check..But I passed it. And it was the same in my last exam...Not all exams..some I can be more familiar with, but with most exams I really expected the worst..every exam I've passed so far. I don't know why I shake and worry. Sometimes even?..And I know this sounds pathetic..like there would be no sense of independence..I prefer being in the company of family,..people I completely trust, and can be myself around. If I were to describe having anxiety alone, or in the company of strangers..and compare to being with family..being around family is like a painkiller..there's no sense of worry..or pain..worry over potentially nothing...but that's anxiety...I spoke about my worry of the future and the present...the present being how I'm quiet and if there's the louder voicing an opinion..I'll trust them before I trust myself..even if I'm right..i doubt myself.. With anxiety I might have the potential to be independent..but I'll never feel comfortable or settled!...I worry the future...my financial stability..my family say I'm good with money..and will manage in the future..and I'm currently doing well in my studies...i always have in my mind that grades aren't all..the louder you are..the social circle might be that advantage...I wouldn't cope pretending to be someone I'm not in that larger social circle....i don't become fully dependent on others, but it's almost like that??..because I look for meaningful friendships..were we can depend on eachother...why do I like being around family for instance??.....Could say its a personality trait..part of being an introvert...but??...also part of being constantly anxious
