I have my times!. Actually?, I just booked an appointment with a counsellor. I have three points that could set me apart...And leave me feeling like an outcast at work.
1. Introverts v extroverts. Because I'm not as jumpy, or loud?..full of gossping, or come off approachable in comparison to the majority. They sense weakness, like I'm shy?, or perhaps disinterested in them?. But in a place full of many loud people trying to fit in. People I can read like a book at times. I don't want them to think I don't want to chat too..its just that im not a loud extrovert!!!
2. My Identity. Have always said being a transwoman was also difficult coming from the public asking questions. That might have dipped my confidence!. Although the workplace has its rules..you can't tell how people personally feel?. Like me being asked "Do you feel any different?"..because my stereotypes haven't necessarily changed. I don't fully dwell or connect with the girls fantastically, (that could be because I'm an introvert too) but mainly because it's all new to me. And it's awkward around guys at times, because im almost like mutual personality with males, but with a female appearance, its hard to tell how people feel about me. But as an intovert, I pick up on small details and behaviours.
3. My Medical. Epilepsy: Yes I've kept my place, after contacting occupational health. And confirming it was safe. I've been defending myself on that front. I think concerns were more surrounding, time and how others felt working around me should I have one!. Some have even said they don't know what to do, or would panic if it happened. I don't get full clonic seizures, just an absence (partial) with a warning before it triggers. So i wear a headset to inform people, i might have a seizure, before the seizure happens. Then i back off and retreat to a safe space. But socially i know people with differences have been treated as outcasts.. like we're still at school.
Maybe i am a little nervous when I'm quiet. Scared the next person might question my identity Or that the next person might question my medical and put across how they can't deal with me when i have one But overall being an outcast, and an introvert, when people do come to me, they get all the attention they deserve...it's not difficult to be nice x
I’ve suffered from anxiety all my life. It comes in waves. Found the more I stay in the worse it gets. It’s hard going socializing etc sometimes, but found the more I do, the more the anxiety eases. I’m not trans but recently exploring my bi side. If it’s any help, genuinely I think your beautiful, if you wanna chat message me anytime. Obviously you turn me on, but asides from that, if you just like to chat I’d love too anytime 🙂
