Oh god I'm going to die alone.

I'd really like to have a woman who loves me for me. I would like to lay in bed with her and rub her stomach and feel my child kick me in the hand. I'd like to have 2 or 3 kids and teach them how to read and write, and maybe coach their football team. Maybe I wouldn't be so angry all the time and maybe I wouldn't hate the world and hope it ends soon. Sometimes I wonder if anyone will come to my funeral if I live long enough. Will I even get into heaven? 😳