It's like endlessly rolling a huge boulder uphill...

I'm working hard to be more social and more social-friendly with some success, but I honestly don't understand its purpose, the attraction to it, or even if it is really worth the extra work it takes to engage in it. I mean, I don't want to be a hermit or anything, but having to always be ready for a conversation is unsettling. It's like never being able to take a break to be always ready. It seems like it's designed to be torture. It's literally worse than Sisyphus having to roll a huge boulder uphill for all time, or at least of that same magnitude.