I don't really know how to interact with people; I guess I never did.

I come from a family of mostly extroverts, so I was always "the quiet one." They couldn't seem to survive on their own for even an hour, needing constant attention and "togetherness" from each other and friends and extended family. I often tried to keep up but would ultimately need to "recharge" alone. They didn't really understand it and would either become aggressively offended (mostly my brother) or emotionally hurt (mostly my mother).

I see similar dynamics at work where people seem exasperated when I don't engage "enough" with them or act as though I prefer to be left alone. When I attempt to keep up with their social expectations, I end up becoming exhausted and feeling vulnerable. When I give into my need for solitude, they become upset with me and I feel like I am doing something wrong or career-killing.

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DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

I'm surprised that you engage with me so much! 🤣

You are a regular Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde.

Your online personality doesn't match your real life situation.

I ignore in real life, just as much as I ignore online. Yet I still don't block anyone in either case, online or real life. I don't even want to block anyone in either case.

You do want to block others in real life. Even though you can't in real life.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer I have extrovert skills. I just don't really know how to use them, and my personality blocks me from using them so that I never get to work them. That creates quite a bit of internal conflict as you might be able to imagine. For example, I helped the roommates down the hall from me (the one's I helped to unfreeze their door lock to the horror and anger of you and the maintenance guy) and actually had a good time interacting with them, but I never was able to initiate a friendship with them with they lived here.

I don't ignore or block anyone here or in real life. Sometimes, I think that is my problem. If I did, I wouldn't find myself in so many awkward and "freeze-frame" situations.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul I believe you want to block in real life.

You can't though.

Otherwise you wouldn't complain so much about others so called "violating" you.

You simply can not change others. Accept that and your problems are over with.

Ignore the objectionable behavior.

That's what I do in real life as well as on this site.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer I don't complain about others, and I have no desire to block them. You see, I'm a professional observer and a reporter who writes about my observations. I guess you could call it commentary.

I'm not interested in changing others. I initiated the offer to help the roommates with their moving. That's hardly blocking or changing.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul try it on a bus with a bunch of homeless now!

Thou do Protesteth too much! Ignore their behavior and they will ignore you.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer Well, no not on the bus. Not with the random homeless person.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul Guy I managed to go to Germany at 14. You think I didn't come across homeless or even gangs?

I was chased by a gang in Germany.

Did I say anything to my parents about it?

Not a word!

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer Well, I don't have that kind of experience.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul The point is I accepted the situation! And ignored saying anything about it.

Not that I didn't learn from the situation. Of course I learned. I learned how to deal with that situation.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer Oh, well that's different. I mean my situations are complicated and not easy to navigate. They aren't what anyone could call, "basic social interactions."

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul Guy you don't complain about a gang when you are just a kid with a whole lot of cashier checks to last you a month.

You deal with it. And learn from the situation.

You think my parents would have let me even pick up the alimony money by myself after hearing that I was chased by a gang?

Not on my life!

You must think on your feet in those situations.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer That's easy to deal with... you just confront the gang, and they will back down. They always do. I'm talking about social situations where it's not even clear what is going on.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul more like a knife in the ribs!

And BTW that once happened to me from the back. I didn't see it coming.

Guy I have lived through the watts riots.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer Well, that's because you are not observant. I see everything because I am always observing.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul bull! You just don't go out enough among people. Otherwise you wouldn't complain so much.

I've been in these situations all across the USA into forty states. Yes, even on Greyhound buses. Plural!

Wonder why I'm not dead? Because I am observant far more than anyone else!

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer Well, maybe you are, but you don't really understand that my social situations are different and more complex than they type of basic interactions and encounters that are basically cookie-cutter and can be easily navigated that you are describing.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul Yeah you avoid them. And don't learn anything about people because you just don't do anything.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer Well, that's not completely fair. I mean, I have to make split decisions and then take the proper action. I think my record speaks for itself. I have been pretty transparent about that.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul Guy how many states have you walked down in slum areas?

I have in every state that I have been in plus two different countries. Before the age of 30.

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer Well, I'm not sure that's a reliable indicator. I'm talking about the complexity of social interactions in my range of experience and you're trying to compete with standardized encounters that are textbook cases. It's like apples and tennis balls.

DeWayfarer · 61-69, M

@MarkPaul You don't know how to deal with people! It's simple!

MarkPaul · 26-30, M

@DeWayfarer Well, there is a trace of that, I suppose. But it's not to the extent you are implying.