Suicidal boyfriend

I've been planning on leaving my very rude boyfriend, however, I heard him say that he's still suicidal and has been thinking about it again recently. I know I've made some posts venting about his attitude, that aside, I once loved him so I still care a bit and don't want to add to his suicidal thoughts. He bought me a teddy to say thank you for being there for him, which is sweet. It doesn't change anything but now I'm depressed because leaving is what I'm working towards and this situation makes it more difficult.