Did you ever feel you had NO Self???

Like your entire life has been on autopilot or hypervgilance?, ( and if you experienced childhood abuse, you became a slave and prisoner; trying to never rock the boat, always needing to keep things light. Walking on eggshells daily so you're not physically or mentally attacked. ) After that occurrence for many many years, your own self is eradicated. You exist just to keep peace and serve OTHERS wants or needs.
Did you ever feel human , fully, again ?? I am a shell of a person and have trouble fulfilling my needs or wants, or acknowledging I deserve anything good. 🥺