I have so much to fix

Im In such a situation I feel like I ruined myself in my teenage years . I think Ive been neglecting myself and my mind for so long , like using my phone too much and isolating myself . And In the present Im paying for it by making mistakes and accidentaly being incovenient at work . I think I will never find anyone who is also sufferening from this and understands . My mind became so slow and I dont really pay attention to the background of my work , only what people directly tell me , I also feel easily pressured and I get even more paralyzed when so. I just want to get out , Im tired of feeling uncomfortable and being a incovenience for others , God I fail at such easy things .I want to leave and heal at home , or while im at a less demanding job , but my parents wont let me leave , also even if I suck my boss seems to want me to keep working , at least until shes finally able to hire someone new (wich , if nothing happens , will take some months ). Now im feeling worse because a superior coworker dislikes me because I make lots of mistakes and I keep asking them for help when im insecure . I want to open up to mother but Im too ashamed .Despite having good people by my side at work , I hate there because of my inner problems . I cant even feel truly happy when I get my payment ,I dont want money I want to go and get help. I dont even know exactly what getting help would be but I dont think working there will be good for me and the others. I feel terrible in my own skin, I wish everything never happened , everytime I remember my shit I cringe .