I'm really bad at letting myself be a beginner and make mistakes, and am very embarrassed by failure.
This is something I really wish to tackle, because I have a hard time relaxing and having fun, even with my hobbies.
I am a perfectionist to a fault and beat myself up over mistakes. I hate being a beginner at anything and am the very definition of my own worst critic. In my mind, my mistakes are stupid and everyone is judging and making fun of me, just waiting for me to mess up, though I know that is my own mindset projecting that. I've also participated in some highly competitive sports/hobbies (one of which includes animals and highly critical participants), so perhaps that's where some of this stems.
Even with things outside of hobbies/sports, I am terrified of making mistakes or saying/doing something that will make me look stupid. I'm embarrassed by it and my confidence takes a hit.
It's ironic, because I am not this way at all towards other people. I tend to brush off their mistakes as no big deal, if I even notice them at all (and I know other people probably feel the same towards mine, as I know most people are focused on themselves and their own mistakes), and do not expect perfection nor think any less of them for being imperfect. I have set the bar impossibly high for myself, and need to work on bringing that to a more realistic level.
Does anyone else feel the same way?
On a more positive note, though this post definitely doesn't seem like it, I have made some progress towards positive thinking! This is just another thing I need to strongarm myself about and actually allow myself to learn, which does involve failure at times.
I am a perfectionist to a fault and beat myself up over mistakes. I hate being a beginner at anything and am the very definition of my own worst critic. In my mind, my mistakes are stupid and everyone is judging and making fun of me, just waiting for me to mess up, though I know that is my own mindset projecting that. I've also participated in some highly competitive sports/hobbies (one of which includes animals and highly critical participants), so perhaps that's where some of this stems.
Even with things outside of hobbies/sports, I am terrified of making mistakes or saying/doing something that will make me look stupid. I'm embarrassed by it and my confidence takes a hit.
It's ironic, because I am not this way at all towards other people. I tend to brush off their mistakes as no big deal, if I even notice them at all (and I know other people probably feel the same towards mine, as I know most people are focused on themselves and their own mistakes), and do not expect perfection nor think any less of them for being imperfect. I have set the bar impossibly high for myself, and need to work on bringing that to a more realistic level.
Does anyone else feel the same way?
On a more positive note, though this post definitely doesn't seem like it, I have made some progress towards positive thinking! This is just another thing I need to strongarm myself about and actually allow myself to learn, which does involve failure at times.
26-30, F
