Struggles & Identity

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Am I in the wrong here? 😕

So I’ve only been dating my bf for a few weeks now.
And he wants to meet my parents and my mom wants to meet him too…
But I’m a bit hesitant because these past few months my relationship with my mom hasn’t been exactly the best
(long story )

😕 My dad tells me that whenever I’m comfortable introducing them then that’s fine. He doesn’t really care as long as he’s treating me right ( which he definitely is ☺️) For some reason my mom is demanding to meet him, she thinks that he had to ask for their permission first in order to even date me ( she’s very old school) which I understand but I’m not hung up on it

Any advice? Am I overthinking things? 😕

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OlderSometimesWiser · F

Not overthinking things at all. You’re a grown woman who should be the one who determines if/when you introduce your partner to your parents.

Sojournersoul · M

@OlderSometimesWiser this is why you are sometimes wiser. 🤣

Ashly · 26-30, F

@OlderSometimesWiser thank you 🥹

OlderSometimesWiser · F

@Sojournersoul Lol….. every 4th or 5th Monday, I try to cough up some wisdom. Like a furball. 🐱

Sojournersoul · M

@OlderSometimesWiser notice I left the order part out. 🤣 Which Monday is this? 🤔

OlderSometimesWiser · F

@Ashly Stand your ground lady. In a polite, respectful way, stand your ground. Setting boundaries now can lay the groundwork for future situations to go more smoothly. 🙂

Ashly · 26-30, F

@OlderSometimesWiser it’s a little late for that 😕 She got drunk a few weeks ago and tried fighting me 😔
Before I would just take her abuse but as I’ve grown I’ve learned to handle myself with her ☹️

OlderSometimesWiser · F

@Ashly Sounds complicated but I still don’t think it’s too late to make your boundaries clear and refuse to engage in that kind of toxicity. I’m hoping you don’t live with your parents, if you do, it would probably be a good idea to do whatever you have to to get out on your own and be independent.

Ashly · 26-30, F

@OlderSometimesWiser thank you miss
I moved out as soon as I left for college, they still live close by but leaving her house those years ago was a liberation from her
I do love her, but I will never live with her even again 😅

OlderSometimesWiser · F

@Ashly Well whatever you decide, I’ll be rooting for you. 🙂

Ashly · 26-30, F

@OlderSometimesWiser thank you ♥️🥹

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Ashly · 26-30, F

@iamonfire696 when she gets drunk she’s waaay worse ☹️ She got mad at me for no reason and she started grabbing me and tried slapping me but luckily my dad and uncles pulled her away 🥺 This happened a few months ago and we haven’t been on good terms still

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

@Ashly She legit abused you, I guess you wouldn’t be on good terms with her.

I am glad your Dad and Uncles were there. My Mom is a recovering alcoholic and she would beat me as a kid but you’re an adult now. This is insanity.

I am sorry 🩷.

Ashly · 26-30, F

@iamonfire696 this wasn’t the first time it happened, I’ve dealt with her in worse situations before
I’ve gotten used to it 🙁

He can help pull her off me next time 😂😅

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

@Ashly I didn’t think it was and I would if I could and I would give that Mother of yours a piece of my mind and she wouldn’t like what I have to say to her.

Ashly · 26-30, F

@iamonfire696 she’s not evil, I know she’s not perfect but I still love her
As I have grown, I just realized that she didn’t fit the traditional, loving mother mold 🙁

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

@Ashly she still needs to be told the damage she’s been doing.

Ashly · 26-30, F

@iamonfire696 it’s ok mami, I’ve learned to just deal with it

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

@Ashly I hate that you have had too 🩷

Ashly · 26-30, F

@iamonfire696 I’ll be ok 👍🏻😊
Thank you 🫶🏻🥹