School holidays

I feel like I have no purpose and no routine now that the holidays have started, sure it's only 2 weeks, but I just feel so depressed hanging out at home the entire time. I could make plans with friends, but I also have a very low social battery, and pair that with me not liking hanging outside alone (idk why), and you get one very homey kid.

My mum is mad and sick all the time, constantly shouting at me and, well, everyone really. Its stressing me out more than usual and I wish I could do something to help but everytime I mention her bad mood she'll yell at me, if i continue pushing it, she'll throw shit at me. Literally the other night I was making myself some food, bcz i get hungry, and i tipped her over the edge (it was more of a gentle tap) and she tips my food into the sink.

i feel like im such a problem rn, and i dont want to start hating myself like i used to.