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I don’t understand how people overcome trauma or negative life experiences

I’ve battled depression for 12 years, have been on so many different medications and have been into a psychiatric ward three times.

I don’t understand how people muster up the will and energy to keep on living.

Every moment I constantly carry the weight and pain of bad life experiences from the past. It’s like a one thousand pound brick of pain is constantly sitting on my lungs and weighing me down.

Every breath I breathe in takes effort and every positive experience I have; only reminds me of pain from my past.
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do you breathe with your tummy? and allow yourself to feel your emotions?