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DrWatson · 70-79, M
I know a guy who is in prison for sexually abusing his children.
During the months prior to his sentencing, I met with him a few times. On the one hand he seemed genuinely remorseful and ashamed. On the other hand, he seemed to be minimizing the harm he had done and had an unrealistic expectation about being soon forgiven.
I went to his sentencing hearing. I was struck by how his victims, in their statements, hardly talked about the sexual abuse at all. They focused on the years of emotional abuse.
This guy, in his conversations with me, gave the impression that he had been completely unaware of being guilty of that. In his letters from prison, he characterized his parenting style as "tough love".
I have reasons to believe that that is what he got from his own father -- abuse in the guise of tough love. And this guy passed it on.
I finally found it impossible to keep corresponding to him in prison. His angry reactions to me, and his attempts to gaslight me about our own conversations with each other, convinced me that he is an incurable narcissist. I gave up on trying to help him see the light.
During the months prior to his sentencing, I met with him a few times. On the one hand he seemed genuinely remorseful and ashamed. On the other hand, he seemed to be minimizing the harm he had done and had an unrealistic expectation about being soon forgiven.
I went to his sentencing hearing. I was struck by how his victims, in their statements, hardly talked about the sexual abuse at all. They focused on the years of emotional abuse.
This guy, in his conversations with me, gave the impression that he had been completely unaware of being guilty of that. In his letters from prison, he characterized his parenting style as "tough love".
I have reasons to believe that that is what he got from his own father -- abuse in the guise of tough love. And this guy passed it on.
I finally found it impossible to keep corresponding to him in prison. His angry reactions to me, and his attempts to gaslight me about our own conversations with each other, convinced me that he is an incurable narcissist. I gave up on trying to help him see the light.
