Im so done with everything

I said it wouldn't happen again, but it did. I overdosed on antidepressants and ended up in the ER for the 5th tine this year, I've already been on the psych ward a couple of times and im probably going back now that this happened. I don't feel bad or regret abt what I did tho, im tired of people telling me that I'll make my friends and family sad... WHAT ABOUT ME, WHY WOULD I CARE ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE MORE THAN MYSELF? I am so fucking over it, people putting how other ppl would feel abt my death over how i feel to want to kms so bad is ridiculous. I don't fucking care about my health or physical state anymore why would I care abt how someone else feels abt me wanting to end this suffering. Hypocrites

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Subsumedpat · 36-40, M

You need majic mushrooms to reset your thoughts

Elysiia · 22-25, F

@Subsumedpat i like this suggestion

Subsumedpat · 36-40, M

@Elysiia They work, we were learning so much about how and why in the 50's and 60s then Nixon threw them in with the war on drugs so all research came to a screeching halt. Were it me I would take a road trip to a state where it was decriminalized and find the right person to journey with.

Briggett · T

I have a family member struggling with the similar issues and problems.
My advice for you is the same as for her one don’t give up on yourself and those around you. Second keep searching for help because you haven’t found the right person to help you yet.
Wishing You All The Best
Bridgett.

Wiseacre · F

I see ur problem: if u cannot care about urself there is no hope. Where are ur parents?

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Wiseacre · F

Could they be right?
Life is work!@Elysiia

Elysiia · 22-25, F

@Wiseacre i rlly can't get myself to do anything my body is almost dead

Wiseacre · F

@Elysiia see.doc and ask for SSRI...works well for some. Also, force urself to take a daily walk.

SW-User

People say what they feel might change your mind about hurting yourself because they don't want that to happen, or at least they can't in good conscience tell you that it's a good idea. I agree with you that it can often be somewhat ridiculous to tell you that you're selfish by wanting to die. If you don't die, you hurt. If you do, someone else hurts. You're no more selfish than the ones who want you to live.

The simple fact is that only you can decide what you want to do and if you're determined then nobody will be able to stop you. The only thing that I'd ask you to consider is whether your mental health is allowing you to make good decisions which are fair to the potential healthy you that maybe would like to live a while. I don't like the idea of an illness taking away my future when I'm not truly in control.

That aside, you know that help is out there if I want it and if you seek it. You have to be the driving force though and you simply may not want to.

Elysiia · 22-25, F

@SW-User thank you for your opinion, i appreciate it. However my body is already in a state I can no longer support myself and I need machines to help me stay alive, and having the problem i have w not being able to absorb meds correctly I just no longer want to be held here. But I'm kept in very close control every day of the week every fucking second of the day, so trying is hopeless. Im just waiting for my moment to arrive. Greetings and have a good day

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