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Suicidal people and how they leave people around them feeling guilty

I have a friend that I've known for years now, ever since I met her she's been sad, depressed and needy.

At first I thought I'd listen to her, care for her and be there for her whenever she needed, it went on for about 2 years, I spent days and nights listening to her endless nags and whines about everything and everyone, it damaged myself too since I've been struggling with depression but I don't talk about it.

After that many days and years I finally noticed that this is the pattern of her behavior, she doesn't try at all to get better not one single effort did she make, I also realized the reason behind her behavior but I won't go into those details.

After that I used covid quarantines as an excuse to stay away from her and her negative energies but then she started attempting suicide, saying nobody cared about her and with that I fell in her circle of depression plus now suicidal thoughts.
Ngl it took me again a while to notice it was her new method to get attention. After that I began ignoring her more.

Till a few days ago she texted me and said "hey Nano I don't feel good at all" which I ignored, today she called me, she had a confused and tired tone, told me she's hospitalized because she attempted suicide......

Now it wasn't my fault, I had 10000 reasons for staying away from her, she ruined more than 2 years of my life (I know it was my own fault too)
But guilt is knocking at my door.... "if u replied to her text it might've been prevented"
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iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
I know what this feels like. I had a friend here that would regularly tell me she was suicidal or she wanted to hurt herself. I stayed up for many nights with her to try and prevent that and talk her out of it. Remind her of what she had to live for.

Pretty sure it was all just manipulations. She’s deleted her account now but I have heard she’s here on another.

You are a good person @Nanori. You can only do so much for someone. None of that is your fault. Your friend needs to get help from professionals. I hope you are okay.
Nanori · F
@iamonfire696 thank you 🥺
I am trying to maintain my distance but even that is difficult
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
@Nanori I think you should maintain your distance because she’s just going to drag you back in.

Maybe that’s awful of me to say but you need to protect yourself too.
Nanori · F
@iamonfire696 not awful at all, it's logical
You're right
iamonfire696 · 41-45, F
@Nanori Try and stop feeling bad. You can feel bad that your friend is in this spot but there’s nothing you can do to change it. That’s up to her and her mental health team to work on.