Struggling

I had another bad day at work.

Drove home, thought about going to the bar to just relax and get away from everyone.

On the radio “Swan Song” by Lana Del Rey started playing.

It’s a dark song about finding beauty in giving up, how fitting

As I drove home I thought about actually drinking at the bar.

Breaking my one year sobriety.

And then cutting my wrists afterwards

Recently I have these thoughts whenever i’m sad.

I almost drove to the bar.

But instead I went to the park and walked in the woods.

A lyric from “Swan Song” sticks out in my mind

“Why work so hard when you could just be free?”