Why do I suck at confrontation after it’s over?

I’m not sure why I do this but after I have to confront someone, which I’m the moment I feel I do really well, I beat myself up by practicing how I will react to them the next time. I feel like I’ve made an enemy and will have to set them straight all the time.it’s like I’m practicing my reaction to be prepared which puts me in a constant state of fight mode. I feel I have to be prepared to tear them down again. Instead I feel like I need to trust that in the moment, like all the other moments that I will be able to say and do what I need to in the moment. This constant state of feeling like I need to fight is really getting to me

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Dan193 · 31-35, M

I used to do that too, a lot. Now I just forget easily x.z

Reflective · 36-40, M

@Dan193 I guess I don’t need to change them, so what I’m basically doing is just that, and it’s not going to work. Maybe I’ll try to just forget

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Reflective · 36-40, M

[media=https://youtu.be/zu74rRJo6rg]@Dan193

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Reflective · 36-40, M

@LadyGrace the situation that I’m talking about is with coworkers who have repeatedly shown me that they don’t care for my boundaries, the start from a place of disrespect and bitterness. They are not good people, they bully people. In my actual friendships I share openly and talk through things that come up. But these other people don’t play fairly. The gossip and tear people down.

LadyGrace ·

@Reflective I apologize for misunderstanding. Then I wouldn't care WHAT they think. That's THEIR problem. They need to chill and learn to treat people with respect. Ignore them. This is really a tough situation when you have to deal with these idiots at work who act like children. As mentioned, I would just try to ignore them and stay away from them as much as possible. Or rather, not interact with them as much as possible. If they know they are upsetting you then they will continue to do so.

Dan193 · 31-35, M

@Reflective that's tough man