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Suicide attempts

Does anyone here try to suicide? What kind of suicide things you do?
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TinyViolins · 31-35, M
I've had 3 failed attempts, and then a bunch of reckless substance abuse that probably could've killed me as well. I bought a gun a number of years ago in order to avoid a 4th failure, but no matter how low I've gotten in the time since then, it's never quite low enough to actually pull the trigger