I struggle with gender dysphoria

Gender is a harsh taskmaster. I have an ex-partner who is a trans guy, and one of my kids is a pre-transitioned trans man. I also have a lot of friends who are more traditional masc lesbians and even more masculine straight or bisexual women.

First piece of advice: make sure you have a good therapist. Sounds like you have a lot going on in there. Those feelings are pointing back to some real issues, but without being there with you there's no way we could ever guess what those things are. Those feelings are definitely the sign for you to explore more.

I would love if you feel comfortable with more feminine hair, getting your nails done, and doing more traditional feminine things. But if those things make you feel yucky, then I would love you staying on the more masculine side of things. All I want for you is for you to be your most authentic self, whatever that might look like.

Sending you love <3

Heya I struggle with similar issues. If you wanna chat you can DM me. I'm slow to reply but I usually do.

it is okay to be you. even the New Fem you. maybe it is AWESOME

My advice may sound simple but it is actually extremely difficult to follow, especially with the current focus upon gender. But... this is it...

Do what makes you feel happy without classifying it as masculine or feminine.

At the end of the day, gender is a social construct. Biological sex determines typical reproduction roles and how your body grows.

What clothes are worn by men or women, how they wear their hair, what they do for fun, what kind of jewelry they wear if any... all of that is largely made up. It changes over time and there are points in history where dresses and heels were fashion for noble men. It's all made up.

Be yourself without fretting over what kind of categorization bucket it makes you fall into.