I don't have many hobbies or interests. Is this normal?

I am not a person of many hobbies or interests, and find it really hard to get interested in things. My interests are usually fleeting and temporary as well.

I rode horses for most of my life and had a love-hate relationship with it, enjoying it a lot as a kid and teen until I got hurt, then finding it stressful as an adult. I got out of it and miss the fun parts of it, but know I would easily burn out again.

I played the violin for five years and just burned out pretty much overnight. I've had very small bursts of interest over the years, which were quickly squashed after I got it out and played it.

I just cannot develop interest in anything anymore, at least for more than a couple of weeks. I don't know why. I am an impatient person who is very hard on myself and makes it really hard to enjoy anything that takes time and practice to perfect (so nearly everything), but I don't even have interest in simple things. Cooking is the only thing that has somewhat captured my interest, but there are many days I don't feel like doing it.

Is anyone else like this?

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

TinyViolins · 31-35, M

It sounds like a case of anhedonia, possibly stemming from depression or social isolation. To not have things that bring you pleasure, as hobbies and interests tend to do, could be neurological, especially when it's something that has previously brought you pleasure.

Then again, it's possible that we outgrow certain things and you just haven't found something comparable to fill the void. Honestly, with work and my dogs, it's hard to find the time to really enjoy something, so it's easy to just skip my hobbies and move on to something with a more immediate payoff.

The internet has pretty much normalized instant gratification, so I think a lot of people are moving away from time- or energy-intensive activities towards quick dopamine spikes from social media posts or the binge-watching of shows and movies

BnBSpringer09 · 26-30, F

@TinyViolins I'm definitely socially isolated at the moment (I feel like I barely have a life outside of work and taking care of my home/pets, and only spend one day a week with my best friend, who is equally socially isolated, and we both feel pretty depressed right now) and going through a rough patch mentally. I bought my first home a year and a half ago and am still trying to figure out how to juggle that, work, and the rest of my life. Everything has dramatically changed and I'm really struggling with it, plus I can't talk to my family as much as I would like to.

I think I did outgrow a lot of things, especially since I'm currently 27 and in that weird in-between stage of life where I feel like both a kid and adult at the same time, and so much change is happening. I've never felt comfortable with change and struggle to adapt to it.

I think I do spend way too much time surfing the web, which probably has a lot to do with this as well. I have felt like I have no energy lately and gravitate towards mindless browsing and sleeping. I watch a little bit of TV before bed in order to help me get to sleep (I either sleep too much or am exhausted, yet can't sleep, it seems).

Thank you for your response, it is very helpful.

TinyViolins · 31-35, M

@BnBSpringer09 Yeah, those kinds of circumstances would definitely zap your interests away. But kudos to you for being a good friend. It's rare. I'm used to people running away when I'm feeling low.

An important thing to know is that you can sort of hijack your brain's neurochemistry to get out of this rut you're in. Motivation comes from dopamine. It's the expectation of a reward that makes you get excited and put in the effort to take a challenge on. Being depressed or socially isolated interferes with your production of dopamine and thus makes you lose interest and motivation.

Finding ways to challenge yourself can create this dopamine release and give you the energy to keep on trying. Most people do it through exercise, as I'm sure you've heard of the 'runner's high'. Another way is by doing something you're not used to or that's very involved. Like cooking a complicated dish or starting to write about a topic. The more you push yourself, the more your brain pumps out little neurochemicals to keep you going. It's less about getting to the finish line and more about getting to the next step. All the same, the little steps add up toward the end product.

This boost in motivation takes a while to completely die out, which is why people can feel like they're on a roll when things are going their way. It has a compounding effect.

I'm sure you've seen something on TV or talked about something with your friend that you'd like to try at some point. Maybe if something is doable or within reason, you might be able to motivate and push each other towards trying it and possibly gaining an interest or hobby in the process. I didn't start painting until last year, and now I can't wait to put my next idea onto a canvas, even though my skills are pretty subpar

BnBSpringer09 · 26-30, F

@TinyViolins Thank you so much! That sounds like great advice, and I've talked to my friend about getting out and trying some new things. On the occasion we do it, we always have fun, so I think we will make some plans! We were thinking about going to the pool tomorrow, which we've been talking about wanting to do for over a month but haven't been able to do yet!

TinyViolins · 31-35, M

@BnBSpringer09 Sounds like a great idea to me. You might have to nudge your friend a little, but once the ball gets rolling it'll be easier to commit to something