I seriously hate being part of this family. They're literally trash talking me downstairs as if i can't hear them

Just a suggestion. If you're being abused at home you could call the abuse hotline and live in a nice clean Center where there are people like yourself and it is wonderful because they become family and the social services would help get you in there and move you there. You would have your meals and everything. You would be much happier. You don't need this. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Do you have the number? Could you call them without letting other people know? You don't want to let them know because they will stop you. If they are so fed up with you then they should let you go so you can be happy. And then they could come visit when they felt like it. Unless you told the nurse you don't want any visitors from the family and then they would not let them in.

I’m sorry you have to deal with the lack of support from your family. But don’t wish you were dead, wish you were away from them; with people who will empathize instead of talking badly about you. You deserve that much.