What is this??

I used to be so weirded out by random questions at the doctor like, do you have trouble getting up in the morning? Do you lack interest in doing things? But now I compleatele understand. Every action and sometimes every breath takes work. Im so emotional and i just feel hurt. I cant even pin point it but its a deep hurt. Im tired of it being beneath the surface of every emotion and in every moment. I have such a strong front but any added task, any faild plan, any emotional conversation is a crackin my defense....and then i have to buildyself back to something that resembles a fuctioning adult. All while being a mom of four small people and managing their whol life and trying to work. Smh. Just for that piece of shit to tell me he cant handle seeing his own kids for a day or two on the weekend because it hurts him to bad. As if they dont hurt. When they break down and act out and cry and everything else. Smh. And eat and grow and have problems with piers and then my brothers and mom and dad still want to chat and im just trying to keep my head above water. Being put out of OUR home to move into an apartment to throw my money away. Having rent be rased by 500 bucks when there is a whole house in my name smh. Guys. Smh. Just to much.