Social anxiety. Group settings.

Does anyone else struggle with social anxiety? Especially in group settings with adults? I have professional meetings occasionally and I am always kicking myself by the end of it when I don't speak up and contribute. It doesn't help when you're online too. I just overthink about the value of what I have to bring and by the time I decide, yes I will speak up and share, someone else decides to butt in and talk over me so I dig myself a hole and never speak again.

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Highonheels · 51-55, M

I used to have social anxiety really bad to the point I wouldn't even leave my place for weeks at a time and when I did have to go out I wouldn't go near anyone much less talk to them , I was pretty much a hermit living in solitude and isolation and only going out when the need was great , but then the loneliness started to set in and when I got desperate for attention I decided to face my fears a little bit at a time , I had to force myself to go out then I found out about a local church food pantry so I went every week and I would stand in line and soon started talking to people there and soon I was opening up and meeting people from the church then I met the pastor and eventually joined the church so I would go every Sunday but even at those point I was still leary of large crowds of people so I sat in the back in the balcony where there wasn't a lot of people.

Then I eventually found out about a support group from one of the other church members called celebrate recovery and I started attending groups and even though it was a smaller group of people I was still feeling anxious about it so I set away from the group in what was called large group then we would break up into women and men for what they called small group I thought well this just keeps getting better so I sat and mostly listened yo the men talk as I was to nervous to talk at first but eventually after about 5 meetings I started opening up to them , and thanks to this group they really helped me to become the person that o am today.

meetingmeinthepouringrain · 26-30, F

@Highonheels wow thank you for sharing. It’s great to know there is hope to overcoming it. Well done on your journey!

Highonheels · 51-55, M

@meetingmeinthepouringrain yes honey there is light at the end of the tunnel for sure

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

I know this feeling. I didn't have it when I was at work because I was quite laid back there and didn't take those people way too seriously. (Since I didn't feel being taken very seriously in the first place). Also I always knew what I wanted to say and knew what I was talking about. But I had it at school all the time. I almost never said anything in a group because whenever heads turned at me I felt the upsurge of anxiety coming. I got brain fog and everything I had in my mind just disappeared. The more I cared to get my opinion across the more aroused I got and couldn't control my body and mind well.

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CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

@meetingmeinthepouringrain The way I see it is that we need to be really confident about what we talk about and stand firmly behind our opinion..or maybe not care that much about the opinions of the audience. For me, if I'm not entirely sure if what I'm saying is correct or when I have doubts if what I am going to say is socially acceptable in a given social setting I start crumble. I think for me it's fear I might inadvertently say something inappropriate or incorrect and face disdain or resentment of others. Also the only way my public presentation worked was when I dissociated and ran on autopilot.

meetingmeinthepouringrain · 26-30, F

@CrazyMusicLover I completely agree with everything you have said! It does seems to depend on my confidence on what I have to say and also if I'm worried about how I will come across as and be misunderstood. I also feel I come across as am trying too hard when I do say something, perhaps because I am usually so tense lol

CrazyMusicLover · 31-35

@meetingmeinthepouringrain Same, haha, like I take that whole situation way too seriously. Which I do but I can't change that consciously. By the way, I can't talk about things that I am truly enthusiastic about as well. Once I met a girl who was at the time obsessing over the same thing I was and I rather pretended that I didn't care that much because I just knew I wouldn't be capable of talking coherently. 😂

TeamSkullGrunt · F

you took the words right out of my mouth

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