I Battle Depression

Things have been getting worse for me. I owe my doctor money and I can't afford to pay him because my house flooded. I'm out of my meds (which I can't really afford anyway because my insurance will only pay for a tiny portion of the cost). I've been thinking about killing myself pretty much all day, every day for the past little while. I'm contemplating checking myself in to a facility since that at least my insurance will cover. Maybe they can give me meds there that will be covered. But for now I'm just going to go to sleep as I can't handle being awake anymore.

I'm not going to actually go through with killing myself. I'm confident of that. But I want these thoughts and visions out of my head. I'm sick of this crap. So now you all know more about me then you probably ever wanted to. And to the people I talk to regularly on here if I disappear you'll know where I went. Don't worry, I'll be back.

NeuroticByNature · 41-45, F

First im not a doctor and ive never been to a psychologist for this but i have very negative thoughts myself. I couldnt take it anymore so I drank for a while but realized thats only killing my body. I quit but with this being the dark months of autumn its been bad. Ive heard about vitamin d for some depression so I thought I would try it. What could it hurt to try a low dose. I tried it. Within a day i was feeling better. The negative thoughts only come about twice a week now.

SW-User

@Oddnelly: I am glad it is helping. There are special lights you can get that can also help in the fall and winter.

totalrandoman · 100+, M

Good luck with your life. I wonder how much longer I can take it sometimes. Sometimes I just get that feeling like I want to end it now. But I'll wait it out and it'll go away. Sometimes that's all you can do. Just weather out your emotions. However, if there comes a day when I'm faced between homelessness and suicide, that's what I'm afraid of -- when I can no longer support myself and am out of options. For now I'm living a half life.