Have I become a hollow man?

A man who no longer strives, who no longer lusts, or even desires. Have I become that man?

I've given up on having any sort of expectation for life. Shitty childhood, shitty adulthood and there's no sign of it magically changing.
I keep myself medicated to get through the day. Can't get out of bed without amphetimes and stay foggy on antidepressants. About once a week I get blasted on morphine, fentnayl or oxys, and about twice a week drink myself into fuzziness.
It seems to do the trick. It's a long ride and we better settle in.
Maybe you should plan a trip. I planned an international trip a couple years back and I think it was the happiest I'd ever been.
Maybe something will change... but maybe not.

I don't even know what I'm saying. Pretty sure I'm rambling incoherently.

WoodyAq · M

The self-medication is starting to kill me (I tend to push it with the doses) but I feel Id be lost without it.

I like your metaphor of settling in for the long ride though ...