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How bad is it that I get jealous when I see others in a relationship?

So... I have received good, sound advice here about not putting so much emphasis on being in a relationship and instead feeling secure and comfortable with being on my own. And, I genuinely am taking that advice to heart and have already made some changes. I feel like I am on a good path. The thing is though, I become jealous when I see others in a relationship.

I guess I could repress the feeling or force it to go away through a combination of repression and willpower. All I have to do is see what appears to be 2 people in a relationship and I feel hurt, frustrated, sensitive, left out, hopeless, ugly, and unselected. To be honest, it bothers me that my inner-mind is that petty and narcissistic. I mean, these are just people I observe who are "somewhat" random strangers. Their lives don't directly intersect mine.

I don't really know what I am looking for in an answer... am I fishing for some vindication, "Oh, you're not so bad." That's pathetic, if I am. Am, I hoping someone will validate how horrible I am, "Dude, that's about as low as any human can go?" Psychologically, why would I want that kind of validation? Or, am I literally struggling to figure out what is motivating me to act in the counter-productive way that I do in an environment where the risk of being exposed seems low?
pianoisland · 31-35, M
Being lonely hurts, I was the same way, even couples in movies would make me upset. I hated the hunger games because of that.

Its kind of one of those things you just go through, think of it as your last awkward phase before "adulthood".

Best thing I can recommend is to fall in love with yourself, be your own best friend, the happier you are with yourself the easier it is to turn a blind eye to other couples. Then you realize you're happy enough to wait for someone really interesting, not some dime-a-dozen cute girl who also played pokemon growing up. That was my problem at least haha.
FreshAirLover · 26-30, M
I used to be the same way a few years ago. Often times we may seek the approval of others to feel better about ourselves, which can include something such as being in a relationship. For me, surrounding myself with close friends helped me learn to stop worrying about relationships. That, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with being single.

Not sure if I even answered the question or just danced around it, but I hope it helped in some way.
FreshAirLover · 26-30, M
Well, not having friends is definitely tough. The only thing I can suggest (and others probably have told you this time and time again) is to put yourself out there. I don't have many friends myself because I lost so many from moving, so I find myself on sites like these trying to be a bit more open. I'm hoping that it helps me do the same offline, and so far it has. I've made a few solid friends that I hang out with on campus.
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
@SilverRedd... It probably does not feel like it; at least it doesn't for me, but at the same time, I genuinely think there is hope for us. I don't want to speak for you, but just being able to admit these feelings seems like a first step, as primitive as it may be... but still a literal first step. Hang in there!
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
Yeah, man. I get it. And, I agree. It sucks. It makes me seem small-minded. Yet, the feeling is naturally there. I mean, it just comes; it's like a sickness. I hate it.
Lutiey · 31-35, M
You gotta try and think about it logically, wasting all the energy into hating on other people who are minding their own business.
stop wasting your time with such things..
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
It kind of helps FreshAir... ONE part of my problem is I don't have any friends (in mathematical terms, zero). So, I don't have that kind of support network to fall back on. But, yeah, accepting being single as a current state instead of a curse seems like a better way to navigate than feeling sorry for myself. Thanks.
SW-User
I feel the same way :(
MarkPaul · 26-30, M
What do you recommend I put my time into @StrangeMotions?

Thanks piano; that makes sense.

 
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