I am really struggling to comprehend...

That God could love me and yet judge me so harshly. It just doesn't sit right with me. The threat of going to hell if I do something wrong can really play on my mind. I don't like the thought of a God who would do that to me. How can I love a God like that? I'm seriously beginning to question my beliefs. It's not that I want to not believe in God atal. I'd just like to believe in a God who is loving and accepting of everyone. But I don't know where to start with that belief. I don't want to be pagan I've been there I know that for sure. There must be a way of believing that is outside the constraints of religion. I don't know where to look though. Plus that would mean leaving behind everything I've been taught. I'm pondering things like if I don't believe in a judgemental God does that mean I don't believe in Jesus? Or are any of his teachings still valid? It's like I have this desire for a complete shake up in my beliefs and yet I'm too scared to implement this. Simply because I'm scared of being attacked by demons again. This unsurety keeps happening, its like a cycle that repeats. It feels like I am spiritually stagnant. Like I'm not going anywhere spiritually. That this cycle is because I'm missing something but I don't know what. I'm not happy that's for sure and I miss my crystals, oracle cards and daily meditation. Something needs to change. I'm spiritually searching for a way to be me and encorporate everything I enjoy. The closest thing I've found is new age belief. But it's all about manifesting stuff and that's not what I want either. There has to be something else...

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Adstar · 56-60, M

God is perfect in justice as well as being perfect in Love.. It is by accepting His loving gift of salvation that He can justafiably forgive our transgressions and transform us into perfect eternal beings...

The penalty for sins must be paid in full.. And The LORD Jesus paid that penalty by allowing himself to be executed on the cross, to die so that those who believe Him and trust in His atonement would be granted eternal life with Him..

People often focus on one of the aspects of Gods character.. But to have a complete picture you have to take in ALL His words and deeds to get the full picture... Once people obtain that fuller picture most of the uncomfortable teachings get put into an overall focus that winds up being awesome to the one who accepts The Word of God as a whole..

You know Jesus shall return to pour out the wrath of God upon those who have rejected His love and have persecuted His adopted Children on earth.. Read the book of Revelation and you will see just how terrible it is going to be on earth for those who have persecuted those who Love Him..

I can only advise you to read the New Testament in full and while you do ask God to give you wisdom and understanding.. Ask often.. Try to ask each time you start a reading session.. And know that Godis able to make one able to understand what it is they are in need to understand..