Is it worth having faith, will my world ever change

So looking at the date and is 7/12/2020 and wow its been a long year and still its not over oh my god will my life ever change. I have worked very hard the past 2 years to change my life my families life but everything Ive done i dont know if i will ever see that work ... i just sit day in day out waiting for some sort of movement but then nothing and i look at God straight in his eyes and say really god why are you still keeping me like this i have been waiting so long for you and you feel like you never will come. Im so tired but with everything in my power i hold on . Seriously im so tired but i put my handa together everyday and ask god pls bring the love of my life please help with everything with my life and day i cry in my soul for help and nothing comes and i question myself and my faith and really question my life. Everyone seems to get help from god but i fins when it comes to me its a problem and its unnerving me but still i sit and wait and im so frustrated and angry but i just keep it in and hold my faith. But i really do feel like ending it all. Just do a prayer to end the whole universe everything in it the sun moon stars. I dont even have the words anymore to express what it is Im going through.