Try separating Christ's teachings and their philosophical/theological underpinnings from the brick and mortar churches and other trappings that claim to represent Christianity. Frequently, particularly in these days when some denominations have become so involved with politics rather than spirituality, there is a total disconnect, which may be what is troubling you.
Thomas Jefferson took the Bible and a pair of scissors and cut out everything that was not directly attributable to Christ through one of the original disciples who were there. He was left with a small pamphlet. It is called the Jefferson Bible and is in the Library of Congress. Unlike a current Bible printed in China carrying the name of someone who promises high tariffs on products from China and is offering it under his name for ten-fold over what it cost to print.