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Do you think God will forgive me if I “offed” myself?

Like he knows my circumstances…he knows I’m not strong enough anymore. I’ve tried to move on with life, by getting my doctorates but that mean literally nothing too me…my life means nothing. I’m miserable and just wanna be free from so much pain and mental suffering.
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Different · 31-35, M
They say when u give up u never knew their was a blessing right around the corner so if i were you i would keep going cause u never know what ur so close to achieving.