I believe in the spiritual
But I resent that I feel so cut off from it.
I wish I could experience more of it like so many others seem to.
I wish I could experience more of it like so many others seem to.
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Morvoren · F
What most people consider spirituality feels like a man made comfort blanket, and I feel no warmth or inspiration from it.
If spirituality is real I imagine it’s a wild and untamed thing, older than mountains and indifferent to the wants and needs of people.
If spirituality is real I imagine it’s a wild and untamed thing, older than mountains and indifferent to the wants and needs of people.
Vengabus · 36-40
@sree251 last night I ‘prayed’ - you could call it - in my usual way. I think about what’s bothering me and I write something down and then I either share it in some way or I don’t. In this case I didn’t.
I wanted a solution to the pain I felt but something told me that wasn’t what I should say. I ended up writing ‘why?’
Just ‘why?’ Then I felt a need to listen to a certain song. It was quite a heavy and negative song and I thought to myself “it would be so much easier if I was more like this song.” I realised I would fit in with the world if that were the case.
The reason my heart hurts is clear to me now. I am at odds with the world.
I feel a little better for understanding this.
I don’t imagine the lonely feeling will ever go away but I do believe it is, beyond anything else, a good sign.
One of the things I’ve wanted to know, for a very long time, is ‘do I have a good heart?’
Am I becoming the good and loving being that I want to be?
Because with every display of anger, where I have failed to manage myself, and every selfish or stupid moment, I see eternal failure.
I have always been very hard on myself. I can’t see the good in myself most of the time.
But as nice and as helpful as these moments are they are not enough by far.
They are not enough to prove to me that life doesn’t end in oblivion. They are not enough to prove to me that I am more than I seem.
They don’t prove what IS reality beyond everything we think we know.
I feel like I was born to want the impossible.
I wanted a solution to the pain I felt but something told me that wasn’t what I should say. I ended up writing ‘why?’
Just ‘why?’ Then I felt a need to listen to a certain song. It was quite a heavy and negative song and I thought to myself “it would be so much easier if I was more like this song.” I realised I would fit in with the world if that were the case.
The reason my heart hurts is clear to me now. I am at odds with the world.
I feel a little better for understanding this.
I don’t imagine the lonely feeling will ever go away but I do believe it is, beyond anything else, a good sign.
One of the things I’ve wanted to know, for a very long time, is ‘do I have a good heart?’
Am I becoming the good and loving being that I want to be?
Because with every display of anger, where I have failed to manage myself, and every selfish or stupid moment, I see eternal failure.
I have always been very hard on myself. I can’t see the good in myself most of the time.
But as nice and as helpful as these moments are they are not enough by far.
They are not enough to prove to me that life doesn’t end in oblivion. They are not enough to prove to me that I am more than I seem.
They don’t prove what IS reality beyond everything we think we know.
I feel like I was born to want the impossible.
sree251 · 41-45, M
@Vengabus [quote] last night I ‘prayed’ - you could call it - in my usual way. I think about what’s bothering me and I write something down and then I either share it in some way or I don’t. In this case I didn’t. [/quote]
Do share your prayer, one is never alone; and yet, there is no one else alive but you.
[quote] I wanted a solution to the pain I felt but something told me that wasn’t what I should say. I ended up writing ‘why?’
Just ‘why?’ Then I felt a need to listen to a certain song. It was quite a heavy and negative song and I thought to myself “it would be so much easier if I was more like this song.” I realised I would fit in with the world if that were the case. [/quote]
Fitting in with the world. Strange that you should say that. The human world is all wrong. To fit in would be to tie yourself to a rack of torture. Why is there that compulsion to fit in? Conformity is not necessarily a bad thing. We see it in the natural order of things. The human world is not natural, it is artificial. This is the cause of pain.
[quote] The reason my heart hurts is clear to me now. I am at odds with the world.
I feel a little better for understanding this.
I don’t imagine the lonely feeling will ever go away but I do believe it is, beyond anything else, a good sign. [/quote]
The feeling of loneliness. It compels one to go back and join the party, to run with the pack.
[quote] One of the things I’ve wanted to know, for a very long time, is ‘do I have a good heart?’
Am I becoming the good and loving being that I want to be?
Because with every display of anger, where I have failed to manage myself, and every selfish or stupid moment, I see eternal failure.
I have always been very hard on myself. I can’t see the good in myself most of the time. [/quote]
Human morality is fit for purpose fashioned by the mind for moderating behavior of the person created by the mind. What are you? A human being? A citizen of your nation? Your attempts to fit in are signs of conflict.
[quote] But as nice and as helpful as these moments are they are not enough by far.
They are not enough to prove to me that life doesn’t end in oblivion. They are not enough to prove to me that I am more than I seem.
They don’t prove what IS reality beyond everything we think we know.
I feel like I was born to want the impossible. [/quote]
Wanting the impossible. This is a yearning of the mind that forgets its primary role as the caretaker of the body. Is it clean and healthy? Is it dressed proper and looks better than the rest of the pack? If it does, then pray on.
Do share your prayer, one is never alone; and yet, there is no one else alive but you.
[quote] I wanted a solution to the pain I felt but something told me that wasn’t what I should say. I ended up writing ‘why?’
Just ‘why?’ Then I felt a need to listen to a certain song. It was quite a heavy and negative song and I thought to myself “it would be so much easier if I was more like this song.” I realised I would fit in with the world if that were the case. [/quote]
Fitting in with the world. Strange that you should say that. The human world is all wrong. To fit in would be to tie yourself to a rack of torture. Why is there that compulsion to fit in? Conformity is not necessarily a bad thing. We see it in the natural order of things. The human world is not natural, it is artificial. This is the cause of pain.
[quote] The reason my heart hurts is clear to me now. I am at odds with the world.
I feel a little better for understanding this.
I don’t imagine the lonely feeling will ever go away but I do believe it is, beyond anything else, a good sign. [/quote]
The feeling of loneliness. It compels one to go back and join the party, to run with the pack.
[quote] One of the things I’ve wanted to know, for a very long time, is ‘do I have a good heart?’
Am I becoming the good and loving being that I want to be?
Because with every display of anger, where I have failed to manage myself, and every selfish or stupid moment, I see eternal failure.
I have always been very hard on myself. I can’t see the good in myself most of the time. [/quote]
Human morality is fit for purpose fashioned by the mind for moderating behavior of the person created by the mind. What are you? A human being? A citizen of your nation? Your attempts to fit in are signs of conflict.
[quote] But as nice and as helpful as these moments are they are not enough by far.
They are not enough to prove to me that life doesn’t end in oblivion. They are not enough to prove to me that I am more than I seem.
They don’t prove what IS reality beyond everything we think we know.
I feel like I was born to want the impossible. [/quote]
Wanting the impossible. This is a yearning of the mind that forgets its primary role as the caretaker of the body. Is it clean and healthy? Is it dressed proper and looks better than the rest of the pack? If it does, then pray on.
PhoenixPhail · M
It's as available to you as it is to anyone. Your resentments, or any other resistances you're holding onto, are keeping you from being available to [i]it.[/i]
Practice letting go of the thoughts which keep you from aligning with your true spiritual nature, and your spirit and all the gifts it contains will find you.
Reach for and focus on the best feeling thoughts you can find.
Meditate
Meditate
Meditate
Practice letting go of the thoughts which keep you from aligning with your true spiritual nature, and your spirit and all the gifts it contains will find you.
Reach for and focus on the best feeling thoughts you can find.
Meditate
Meditate
Meditate
sree251 · 41-45, M
[quote] But I resent that I feel so cut off from it. [/quote]
Existential loneliness, as you framed it, is bad enough without the horrors of existence: fear of running out of money, fear of bodily illness, fear of war.
You need to conserve your resources if you want to go spiritual, find connection with that mysterious whatever. You need to travel light, move thru life alone, like a soldier in a war zone.
Existential loneliness, as you framed it, is bad enough without the horrors of existence: fear of running out of money, fear of bodily illness, fear of war.
You need to conserve your resources if you want to go spiritual, find connection with that mysterious whatever. You need to travel light, move thru life alone, like a soldier in a war zone.
Heavenlywarrior · 36-40, M
What are you wanting to experience? Why do you think your so cut off?
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Heavenlywarrior · 36-40, M
@Vengabus meditation helps. Becoming one wi the self.
The truth of the matter is , what we call God. Is really the Source of our own intelligence. It’s our very life spark. The deeper we go within ourself, and know we are One with that Spark of Life. Than our brain will create new pathways adjust our perception to reality.
Or you can just take some shrooms and find out.😄
The truth of the matter is , what we call God. Is really the Source of our own intelligence. It’s our very life spark. The deeper we go within ourself, and know we are One with that Spark of Life. Than our brain will create new pathways adjust our perception to reality.
Or you can just take some shrooms and find out.😄
sree251 · 41-45, M
@Vengabus [quote] Something, anything tbh. There has to be a way to see for yourself that something is real, otherwise it just seems cruel to me.
I mean why is belief all we have if "God" is so completely real?
I believe because I want to, not because I have seen that it is real and true.
But not just God, anything that would confirm to me that there is more to existence that what we know rn.
Belief as we know it feels more like endless hope and an attempt to compesate for crushing existential lonliness - to me anyway. [/quote]
I read what you wrote over and over a few times. It has an intensity of a desperate plea, and the ring of a prayer. I feel the same way, and have been hunting this "something" since I was 8 years old. I remember looking at the mirror and asking "how come there is a me?" I held my gaze, looking at the face, peering into the holes (pupils) and drew back in fear. I pushed it all away, scared of going crazy, but that question stayed with me thru the years living a normal life like everybody else as a person, a human being on planet Earth. Ten years ago, I decided that I had to find out the truth, if there is more to existence, as you put it. I quit my career, gave up the normal life, cut off all relationships with friends and family, and set out to find the truth. The reason why we can't "see" for ourselves that something is real is because our way of life distracts us from seeing. Religion teaches monks/priests/nuns to be quiet and contemplate (Catholicism), meditate (Hinduism, Buddhism). They all have motives and know what they are looking for as taught by religion. To "see" what is true, there must be no preconception. It has to be the search for the unknown.
I have to stop here. I could be barking up the wrong tree. You could be after something else.
I mean why is belief all we have if "God" is so completely real?
I believe because I want to, not because I have seen that it is real and true.
But not just God, anything that would confirm to me that there is more to existence that what we know rn.
Belief as we know it feels more like endless hope and an attempt to compesate for crushing existential lonliness - to me anyway. [/quote]
I read what you wrote over and over a few times. It has an intensity of a desperate plea, and the ring of a prayer. I feel the same way, and have been hunting this "something" since I was 8 years old. I remember looking at the mirror and asking "how come there is a me?" I held my gaze, looking at the face, peering into the holes (pupils) and drew back in fear. I pushed it all away, scared of going crazy, but that question stayed with me thru the years living a normal life like everybody else as a person, a human being on planet Earth. Ten years ago, I decided that I had to find out the truth, if there is more to existence, as you put it. I quit my career, gave up the normal life, cut off all relationships with friends and family, and set out to find the truth. The reason why we can't "see" for ourselves that something is real is because our way of life distracts us from seeing. Religion teaches monks/priests/nuns to be quiet and contemplate (Catholicism), meditate (Hinduism, Buddhism). They all have motives and know what they are looking for as taught by religion. To "see" what is true, there must be no preconception. It has to be the search for the unknown.
I have to stop here. I could be barking up the wrong tree. You could be after something else.