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Should I hire the housekeeper anyways?

My father (63 y/o) won’t allow a housekeeper to come deep clean the house this weekend.
Our house is a 4 bed, 2 bath that my father has owned for 22 years now. He does all the fixes for it himself rather than hire professionals, even with a bad leg and knee replacement he still refuses to hire help. Now he only does things for the house that cost him money (ex: pipe burst) if he doesn’t fix it it’ll cost him. Everything else is zero priority (ex: house cleaning and cooking). I lost my job due to health issues and had to move back in last year, which has been difficult because the house is a messy hoarder house. My father collects everything he finds on the road. The yard is full of appliances. The bathroom is full of mold. Every room was full of inches of dust. Over the year I was able to clean it slowly and it’s been better but still not a great way of living. He doesn’t even let me trash old food. I can’t use a lot of soap or water when washing dishes. It’s very stressful.
Anyways, I am currently 9 months pregnant and due any second. Me and the baby father haven’t been able to afford our own place and get me out of here due to a lot of my medical issues plus pregnancy costs. It’s been a difficult depressing period because we want better for our daughter. It’s been extremely hard for me to clean the house and I worry for her health coming here. I have no other family and his family won’t allow me to live with them if we aren’t married. My mother who lives in another city with her other children/family offered to pay for a house cleaner to come and deep clean the house. I let my father know it would be free and it would be good for his granddaughter. He refuses. He said he doesn’t want my mother’s pity or some stranger to come clean. He said he doesn’t care if the baby comes here with the restroom and house in this condition. That I’m exaggerating and she will be fine. But he’s going to Houston this weekend. I’m wondering if I should do it behind his back? Is it really that bad if I do?
GeniUs · 56-60, M
Do it. If he says anything play it down, 'I walked around with a duster and wet cloth for half an hour as I was at a loose end.'
4meAndyou · F
I have known abusive men exactly like your father. It is a mental health issue, TBH. If you have a house cleaner come in behind his back, he will find out, and you will be out on the street.

It IS his house. I highly recommend you find some other place to live.
Penny · 46-50, F
i wouldnt go against his wishes its his house. do you have any other family members or friends who you could pay to help you clean though? he probably most has a problem with it being a stranger to come clean
jehova · 31-35, M
Id say clean it tell him you did it? Just dont throw anything out. Upon his return clear the disposal of any and each item with him. Take him to dinner and or movie. To distract but dont get rid of anything just clean and keep everytjing for him to review before disposing of. Get his grand daughter bring up how his grand daughter is resisting visiting him at all because of the mess. That might get through to him?
RedBaron · M
No, but perhaps you should ANYWAY.

 
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