Discipline & Parenting

You are ambiguous about whether, by discipline, you mean corporal punishment. The evidence on the negative effects of corporal punishment are pretty clear.

World Health Org, among others, has studied corporal punishment extensively.
https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/corporal-punishment-and-health

Also see National Institutes of Health
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8386132/

Also see American Academy of Pediatrics:
https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/142/6/e20183112/37452/Effective-Discipline-to-Raise-Healthy-Children?autologincheck=redirected

Often times, what most of us grew up with was abuse when you look at it fairly.

No child deserves to be hit, either with your hand or some sort of implement, hard enough that you can see outlines of whatever you struck them with for up to two weeks after your attack. What are they learning at this point??? "Do as I say, or I'm going to assault you". If you walk up to an adult and say "Get out of my seat" and they say "No", then you slap them... would you not reasonably expect the police to ask you "Why did you slap him/her???"... if so, why is it acceptable to do something to a CHILD that you know you can't do to another adult???

If your child has no friends and hates being outside - what do you gain from forcing them to spend their time "grounded outside??? All you're doing is reinforcing the fact that they have nothing to do and not even anyone to talk to while they are sat out there by themselves. For children who go through life with undiagnosed autism, this can be brutal because they've already had to mask at school all day - and, now, you're going to force them to spend even longer going without stimming and regulation - because they didn't make their bed before school this morning??? It physically hurts as much as being struck and they don't know that they have autism.

When your teaching moment is more about the actual method of punishment rather than the lesson you're trying to teach, then you've lost the whole point of "discipline". You're no longer teaching your child what happens if I hit my brother/sister.

My sons got grounded, loss of vehicle use, assigned extra duties around the house, etc as "discipline" when deserved

The perfect exsmple, i apologize for the politics, us DJT. He never had to pay the consequences for his actions, now look!

1754

I had welts left on my body when i was young. Definitely went beyond discipline

I still get disciplined as an adult, by other adults

In my country, physical violence and humiliation have not been a part of our judicial system for decades. We reinforce laws and norms through peaceful, rational argument, and are stronger for it. "Discipline" became child abuse when some folk thought it was the prerogative of parents to continue beating children.

Look at the profiles and their forums. They're spanking pedo ones. Theres a difference between normal discipline and then pedo discipline masking as being a parent

There are indeed boundaries and consequences.

But I find corporal punishment abhorrent.

With my own two boys I talked things through, and I’m a great believer in restorative justice.

Parents refusing to be responsable

If you hit your kid you ain't shit . Period.

There is a big difference between discipline and abuse. Sadly, a lot of people do not know the difference.

Im…just asking questions…im not responsible for opinions slick rick

If it doesn’t hurt, it ain’t discipline.

When the haters bleed the lines and make it sexual, they are the problem, not the parent.

I think it became synonymous once enlightened people realized that it didn’t have to include physical pain.

Being violent towards one’s child isn’t (or shouldn’t be) a given, and some children don’t get over it.

It comes from parents who are cruel, going far beyond what should be necessary and sometimes bragging about it, hiding behind various euphemisms like "loving discipline" and "traditional values". And of course from adults whose own childhood was blighted by cruelty.

The word is also used in various erotic contexts between consenting adults, and in dubious "traditional" relationships based on one spouse dominating the other - without necessarily using violence.The legal term for offences under that definition, where the victim has never consented to it, is "coercive and controlling behaviour", and such behaviour is usually mental, social and financial.

So the word "discipline" has acquired a rather sinister reputation, hence anyone using it being regarded with suspicion.

The problem is not that of inculcating respect (respect, not fear!) and good behaviour; but of dark associations with warping such teaching into mere power-play.

The word "discipline" really means following something taught- hopefully that something being constructive not destructive to the disciple.

Focusing on discipline in a place like this generally means spanking and getting off on that. It’s not looked at as a form or responsible parenting. If you’re looking for people like that here, this is not the place. Most of those into spanking here I’ve seen come across as creepy and pedo like.

I wasn't aware that it was

TBH, I think it's because the media and political pundits have always used accusations of child abuse for political purposes. It didn't start with Qanon or MAGA. This was a major part of the Satanic Panic too. This obsession with accusing people of abusing children seeped into society as a whole. So now if it gets out that a parent takes discipline seriously, people start suspecting abuse.

I looked up the definition,

discipline /ˈdisəplən/ Discipline is the practice of training people to obey rules or standards of behavior, and using punishment to correct disobedience.

I'd say it's more of a power dynamic. And those suck, that's what people often abuse.

I gently corrected my son and he's a really good kid. He didn't have to obey me, that sounds disgusting. I paid enough attention to him he wanted to work together. I didn't need discipline.