Humanity in its majority is kinda disgusting 🖤

There are some deeply caring people out there, I've met them and whenever I get the chance I do something to share that caring.

But for the most part I'm happy to be a reclusive introvert. I didn't ask for the struggles I have, and they make it glaringly obvious that most people only like/want you if can make them feel good.

Not that I don't enjoy optimism and pleasant exchanges, but I think it's pathetic how we've normalized it to the point people's bad days and troubles instantly deem them weak and useless.

I know people look down on me here and in real life. It doesn't matter that acceptance and love would change EVERYTHING for me. They have to be mean. My mental health is a joke. Just like my dad used to punch me in the face until my nose bled then laugh at me. A lot of people find others pain amusing. It's all the same to me.

I don't understand that shit and I'm glad.

Nobody is too good for me. I don't deserve to be outted because I have personal issues that mind you, never prevented me from doing my best and being kind to others. That is strength.

Like I'm so glad people don't understand what this feels like, but it's disgusting that's the reason they're harsh, presumptuous and pretentious. They thrive on the brutality they want to act like doesn't exist. Gaslighting each other and themselves. I'm not the weak one just because I'm not fooled into believing everyone gets the same chances. I'm not the idiot who doesn't see the value of true kindness in lieu of making people feel inferior.

And the fake good vibes I see some people pushing out are poison they don't even realize they're feeding to others.

I can't exist in that. I can't coexist in that.

This is all worth mentioning not because I believe people will suddenly feel empathy, but for the sake of my thoughts existing. Many people make me feel invisible. They forget about you. Only text when they're drunk. Fuck it.

BillyMack · 46-50, M

I know sorry doesn’t help in any sense of the word when you’ve gone through traumas and tough times. But I hope you do know that you matter and you are seen. Here for sure and hopeful in real life too.

If there’s any evidence of that, look at the young man you’re raising to see that your words and actions do matter.

Kids may not understand that now. And they may not realize that until later. But the fact that you are changing the narrative by being better and what you can for him is certainly something that matters.

SpectralMourning · 41-45, M

There's certainly a lot of indifference out there between us all. And I don't expect or think any high level of consideration is really all that sustainable in the general sense. It's a problem though when some want to channel that indifference into cruelty. It hurts even more when it comes from people we feel like we should be able to rely on for more. As you said if it's too emotionally burdensome we shouldn't feel like we need to expose ourselves to it.

ScreamingFox · 41-45, F

@SpectralMourning I don't understand the cruelty. I understand nature is not often kind, but it's disappointing that humans, fully capable of other ways, including tapping into the harmony that exists with chaos, will still choose to be unkind. It just makes it all worse for everyone. They want everyone to believe it's because they're good and positive, but if they truly were, they wouldn't need to put anyone down.