Caring
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Beginning to recognize that there's really nothing wrong with me aside from being an individual that not everyone has to like...

And the people that find fault in me for my struggles and imperfections are only seeing me for what they can gain from me. I am worthless to them because they are missing something of themselves. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, we've all been there, it's part of growth.

I'm saying I'm done internalizing the silent treatment and avoidance. I'm done taking it personally and am moving back into acceptance of where people are on their journey.

In my darkness and repeated rediscovery of my own light and strength, I feel whole. I feel like a complete person.

Still a lot to learn and a ways to grow, but definitely worth the effort. Definitely worth listening to and understanding.

So to the people that decided I'm not worth it for whatever reason, I wish you happiness and peace. I wish you the ability to face your self with such honesty, you find beauty in what you may assume others will find ugly. I wish you the courage to touch the bottom where you can strongly push yourself upwards, instead of skimming the surface and never being satisfied.

I wish you the richness that is sitting in absolute truth and realizing how incredible and devastating it all is. So that you never fear another person's bad day like it is your enemy. So that you may find the diamond in the rough and not overlook it because you believe only what's polished and pretty has value.
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SpectralMourning · 41-45, M
I truly feel this. I mean I definitely wouldn't say there's not anything wrong with me. But I would say that people that aren't willing or able to be tolerant simply shouldn't have a place in our space. It doesn't mean they are a bad person, doesn't mean we are a bad person. Just not each other's person.
ScreamingFox · 41-45, F
@SpectralMourning This part of me truly craves community and connectivity. Not just for me, but for everyone. I don't know what it is in me, it's not damage like I previously thought, but I care very much for others. Humans, animals, plants. I see how harmony creates unprejudiced joy for everyone...

So I wish, maybe it just a delusion, but I don't want to give up on it, I wish people would stop hating what they don't understand and feel curious, feel compassion.

We must share space. We all share a planet, we all should take part in caring for. We are all of this planet, brothers and sisters...

We are close in age, don't you remember the campaigns and ads on TV about equality and being kind to children and earth? We used to promote together, now everyone seems stuck on boundaries. It just seems like we didn't used to need all these boundaries and they are maybe just a cage that keeps us from growth and acceptance. Sharing and still being a team.

Humanity is falling apart in the midst of millions of personal crisises and we're focused on tuning each other out? Just seems to me like the time to start caring, not, not caring... 😕
SpectralMourning · 41-45, M
@ScreamingFox I get it. But if you're letting someone in and all they're doing is bringing you down time and time again...that boundary is a line of self defense. Harmony is wonderful and of course I wish for it as well. There's always going to be people whose only way is to hurt and there's a need to recognize them.
ScreamingFox · 41-45, F
@SpectralMourning I recognize those types very well, usually before they show their true colors.

But I do believe in many cases there's more to people. More to explore. More to share. More to love 🖤

Experience has shown me well that there are soul sucking people everywhere, I'm referring to the people who are simply avoidant because something is hard to face. There is more to them.
daydeeo · 61-69, M
Beautiful sentiments Fox. Congratulations on your growth and recovery. ❤
Just block ppl you feel uncomfortable with.
ScreamingFox · 41-45, F
@soulrespite Can't do that IRL lol

I don't really want to block them, I want to laugh with them lol these are good people too. And I don't want to shut them out like they shut me out, then I'm just as avoidant as they are. I don't care about comfort if it means the stagnation of growth.

Thing is, it's not all about me. I've tried the selfish/avoidant trend people are on now and it's not me, it's not the community I want left for my son.

I'm interested in building, not tearing down, not pretending it isn't happening. That doesn't make me feel good or honest.

I can live my life in truth out loud all I want. The discomfort is theirs not mine, they can block me. And oh they have lol
Sutten · 36-40, F

 
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