walk my path alone

@LadyGrace I try to pay attention to what I eat, but thanks for the advice it might actually be a good idea.

@TheSmearedPen oh I tell you it was literally a lifesaver for me, the B12 supplement. Boy was I in a bad way and I like to never find my way out but I did a lot of praying and then I took the supplement and I was good to go. It wasn't easy by any means. But I just took it a day at a time. I would make myself do just one thing a day that would make me feel like I accomplished something because all the rest of the time and I mean all the rest of the time, all I could do during the state of depression, was sit in my living room recliner. I felt like I was glued to that chair and couldn't move for a whole year and 2 months. All because someone hurt me terribly. I realized that and I realized that it was not the person I was mourning over, at all. It was what I mistakenly THOUGHT he was, that got me. The lying. It wasn't necessary. I'm the type of person if this guy had said I don't love you then I would have said okay. Nothing personal. People just have different preferences and we could have just been friends or he could have gone his way, but no, he didn't have to lie to me about it. It was not like the end of the world if he didn't love me haha. But it was the fact that he made me believe that he was so deeply in love with me by the words he said and they were some very deep sentiments. But oh well. I realized what all he did but it still took my heart a long time to heal from the hurt but those are two separate things. I found that I wasn't grieving over him but over what I thought I had and that was only because he was such a good liar. So after a year and 2 months of healing from all of the hurt, I said enough! I had to find a way to make this depression leave and so I tried the B12 and of course like I said I was praying all that time but it takes time to heal. It doesn't happen overnight, so I started taking that B12 after I ask the Lord what to do, and that really really was a miracle for me. A real Turning Point. And it was not easy by any means forcing myself to do one good thing each day but I did and it built up my self-esteem and self-worth. It was worth it. So then I would see him everywhere I went. Not intentionally by any means, but the guy happens to live in my building where I rent so that was not good but then when I did, it didn't even phase me because everyone has the right to love who they want to and love should never be forced and so I would say hi how you doing and all that stuff and was nice to him, but I never allowed him back in my life again. Not even if he had wanted to. We can forgive people but that doesn't mean we have to hang with them if they do nothing but hurt us and harm us and never encourage us, and that's okay. We always find a way

@LadyGrace I'm sorry you went through so much and it sounds super complicated to live in the same building, you are a better person I could be, forgiving isn't that easy for me. Hard to trust after something like that. But you made it, I'm glad you did. I agree forcing a relationship is a bad idea. Let them go but then that's it, it's not a station hall.

@TheSmearedPen it's okay. I learned a lot. Forgiving is really not for the other person although it's a good thing to forgive people. It's really for us so that we don't hold anger and hurt in our hearts because that makes our bodies sick and can even cause cancer. Gee that was a jolly statement was'nt it? hahaha. Like I said, when you know better, you do better. And tomorrow is always another day we can start over. It's all and how we take it. It's not what we lose in life but what we do with what we have left and I refuse to give in to anything in my past that would try to hurt me.