If you ever need an excuse to get out of something, I’m your girl

I can come up with excuses tailored to your life, to get you out of all kinds of situations. I can be your daughter/sister/cousin/partner/neighbor with all kinds of different problems. I can come up with illnesses, emergencies, important errands, and obligations. I can call and loudly cry and beg for your help while you’re in front of other people.
Just let me know. I love being crafty and dramatic.