Why I hate catfish….

You have probably noticed that I have this thing about calling out catfish.

In 2014 one of my friends was talking to a guy she met online and they were in an online relationship. She seemed really happy. He was a good looking guy, they talked on the phone a lot. Anytime they were supposed to have a video call there was always a reason why he couldn’t. Something would come up, he wasn’t feeling well or would have to go into work. This went on for quite a long time.

She didn’t tell me that they hadn’t seen each other on video. It was about 18 months into their relationship and she was pretty upset that day. I asked her why and she told me what was going on.

I had watched the show catfish since it came out so I said we should see if we could try and find the pictures online. We did, we found them online.

She was really crushed by this. She confronted John about this and asked him why he would lie. He said he didn’t want her to know what he really looked like. Then that was it. He just disappeared and he was gone. She never found out who he really was, we knew he was a man. He sounded like a man but she was left broken hearted and with trust issues.

I would just hate to see someone else deceived that way.

What do you all think about catfish? That’s my experience with them.

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CookieCrumbs · F

These people have serious issues. They want to be liked for who they are not. They want to play with people’s emotions.

Catfishing , though mostly associated with using fake pictures to represent themselves, is also about faking their whole persona. This means representing themselves as someone else - different likes, diff jobs, diff family life, diff lifestyle. They can also fake their feelings towards you. They say you’re the “only one” to everyone and pretends to everyone differently. 🤦‍♀️

I’ve never directly experienced it, but like you, I’ve seen this catfishing practice hurt some of my friends.

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

@CookieCrumbs It’s so hurtful, I just can’t understand it. I have seen situations where they say everything is true but the pictures. Then there’s the catfish where everything is a lie even the feelings.

I just hate it. I don’t know why but I want to save strangers from that pain my friend went through. Maybe I shouldn’t care so much?

CookieCrumbs · F

@iamonfire696
I think we all should have a filter when dealing with strangers online. And we shouldn’t rush trusting someone’s representation of themselves too quickly and easily. Trust should be earned over time.

If she decides to jump into some form of “relationship” with an online stranger, she should expect the same transparency as she would with offline partners. This includes voice calls, video calls, etc..

She should have asked herself: is she willing to disclose her real identity ? Where she lives? Where she works?

Then she should expect the same. I know this is a lot of risk… but if this was a real relationship, shouldn’t two people know those things about each other?!

If she hadn’t gotten to the point of that kind of trust….if there is even a doubt in her gut about the other person, then don’t expect too much from the relationship. Keep it cool. And don’t fall too hard.

iamonfire696 · 41-45, F

@CookieCrumbs she’s not doing the online thing anymore. She’s single and at this point I don’t know that she will ever be with anyone. You are right about the trust and sharing of information.