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I was catfished...with a twist [I Was Catfished]

I was very young, only 18, my first semester in college. I first met her cause she was online dating another guy I only knew online. We became friends when I was trying to help their relationship. Eventually they separated mutually and then I started talking to her more and more. A few months went by and I developed very intense feelings for her, but I always felt like there was something she wasn't telling me. 6 months later she finally confessed. Her age, race, name, and most of her background history was all totally fake.

Obviously, I was in total shock and didn't know how to take it. It took me about two days of thinking to realize that even though all those things were made up, the person I was falling in love with was the same. Her personality was the same. The things we enjoyed talking about, interests, everything that really mattered, she was the same person. So, I forgave her and told her I didn't care, I still loved her.

6 months after that I flew 2,500 miles to see her for the first time. Up till then, I never saw a picture of her. We had talked on the phone a lot, and described ourselves, but never sent pictures. I got to the airport, a 19 year old kid far far from home (pre cell phones) for the very first time, meeting someone I had no idea what they really looked like. She ended up being an hour late. I remember just sitting at the airport, very late at night (so hardly anyone was there). I went to where I thought we agreed to meet and waited, and waited, and walked around looking. As the crowds dwindled further, I found a bench and just sat down with my luggage having no clue what to do.

And then, an hour later, I saw her, the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in the world (cause I was in love). We hugged and I couldn't stop staring, my whole body was tingling and shaking with nervousness and excitement. Growing up in a small town in the west with no diversity, here I was falling in love with a black woman. We had an amazing 4 years together, that ended in tradgedy...but that's another story.

So, being catfished isn't always so bad =)

(BTW, she was late because she was also super nervous and couldn't decide what to wear...she felt horrible for making me wait, but it was worth it in the end! I should also add that she was catfishing cause she didn't want her real identity to be known (trying to be safe online) and was just playing this character for awhile before I met her. At some point, she started having feelings for me too, but didn't know how to tell me the truth.)
lovelychicadee · 41-45, F
It seems as though men especially have to deal with women pretending to be someone else. I don’t know how many times I’ve met/chatted with men online who are shocked when they ‘figure out’ I’m who I say I am!
zerostarshine · 36-40, M
@lovelychicadee It's nice to know there are women out there who understand this, so thank you! I am a bit sympathetic too though. I think all of us wear some kind of mask with different people we talk to and show different parts of ourselves. Also, online, sometimes we portray who we want to be more than who we are. I don't think there is anything particularly wrong with this, as long as we are actively working to become that person. "Fake it till you make it!" This is all very different than catfishing to be intentionally deceptive, which is horrible and should never be done.
booboo · M
interesting story.. an aspect of catfishing that i never considered.. and i've been catfished to the hilt since my wife died 20 months ago and decided to start dating, since i hated being alone, at least at that time... so, after reading your story, i will be kinder to those that catfish me, but honestly, within 3 or 4 days, they either ask for money or something of value, so that's where I block them...
zerostarshine · 36-40, M
@booboo Yes, you definitely have to be careful. I mean, this story EASILY could have been a nightmare, left alone at the airport...or worse, mugged outside the airport and left half naked or something.

The fact that we talked for a year and grew really close made this very unlikely though.
zerostarshine · 36-40, M
@booboo So sorry for loosing your wife though. I can only imagine how incredibly hard that must be... Best wishes to you in the coming new year!!!
That sucks that things ended up bad though.
zerostarshine · 36-40, M
@MsAnnThropy @MsAnnThropy Yes, that's another long sad story. She got really really sick and was in and out of the hospital for a couple months. Doctors couldn't find anything wrong. She started not being able to sleep which caused hallucinations and such. One min she loved me, the next I was a total stranger, then next she hated my guts and turned violent. It's very hard to sit in a hospital watching someone you love fighting for their life. After so many tests they finally found out she had Lupus. After a few trial drugs they found one that stabilized her and she got better...but was a completely different person, and ended up breaking up with me cause she needed to find herself.

It took me 4 very very difficult years, but I finally moved on and found love again =)
lovelychicadee · 41-45, F
@zerostarshine sounds like you were in a relationship where you were able to experience all the highs and unfortunately the lows. Glad to read you were able to find love again.
lovelychicadee · 41-45, F
Thank you for sharing your story!

 
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