TikTok Should Be Banned

@SW-User Sure let's turn a home into a micro surveillance state. That's how you build up trust. With Kids it may be alright but with teenagers that's just a violation of privacy.

@RebelliousSpirit She's dead. You do get that, right?
I will not argue with you. If you choose to add anything, I will block you.

@RebelliousSpirit Do you have children ?
Are you aware of 'unconditional love'?
Do you know the emotional struggles of 'balance' a parent faces to keep their children supported AND safe?

Parenting is HARD!
And in this case 'surveillance' would have not only saved her life, but also opened up oportunities to discuss stuff, learn, (on both sides), and develop critical thinking.

Surveillance doesnt have to mean tyranny and oppression, it can mean guidance and open discussion of crucial learning skills .

@OogieBoogie No and yes I am aware of unconditional love and I get parenting can be hard and closer monetoring the girl would have saved her life. I also stated in my first reply that with kids it may be alright.

Seeking open dialouge and creating a space in which your kid feels like sharing most if not everything with you is better than reading mails and private messages! This could lead to so much harm like a forced coming out, deeply private thoughts and feelings being revealed and other stuff. I imagine this approach rather leads to ugly fighting than to trust.
How can a teen be their own person when their parent has access to friends, communication or even puts a tracker on you.

@RebelliousSpirit well i agree totally with that . My daughter and i had, (and still have), heaps of conversations about stalkers, harassment, sex, identity, kinks etc.
But i dont think every parent is geared do that.

Plus....as i found out the hard way, there is MASSIVE pressure on parents to stick to a social expectation of 'the proper way to parent'.....which is mostly tyranny amd bullshit and 70 years out of date.

Ive been scorned, verbally abused, scowled at and socially excluded from mums at school coz i try to connect with my kids.
Ive been told here that im 'sick' coz i did a BDSM test with my 17 year old daughter, (which in fact was her idea , and SHE was the one that told me about the test in the first place).
We laughed a lot over it and it was fun .

As my kids grew up we debated a lot of stuff. If they wanted to so something risky , we sat down and had an honest debate about it.
We'd come to some sort of compromise and risk management, and see how it went .

But parents are pushed to be tyrants of their children, its ingrained in society. If people here think peer pressure for a kid is bad, wait till they feel the peer pressure for a parent!....its total brainwashing .

In fact, i wouldn't be surprised if 'traditional parenting' was part of the probelm here.
If that girl felt secure in her family, knew her parents had her back amd believed in her, she wouldnt have needed to do such an extremely stupid thing .

For some reason parents forget that kids are adults in learning. And that as adults , we dont fucking know everything. They forget they need to earn respect and trust, not demand or expect it.

@OogieBoogie [quote] parents forget that kids are adults in learning[/quote]

The girl was twelve.

She was NOT an adult - in learning or otherwise.

@OogieBoogie Every child is different. What works for one will not work for all.
As a parent, it's my job to know what my children are doing...in daily life, on internet, emails, text, etc...
I also want to know what type of people my children are hanging around with... friends especially.
People... adult and child...do stupid things! This site is proof of that!
Parenting is a full time job and doesn't always make a parent popular. I'm not out to earn respect, I'm out to protect my children and steer them in the right direction as best I can.
It's a parent's job to be "in the know". Know what your child is learning in school, on internet, from friends, etc...
and take the steps necessary to get rid of the bad.
When I was a child, there was no internet. That made my mom's job a lot easier.
But...she still needed to know the types of people we hung out with and what we were doing. And phone calls were never private. If you couldn't say something in front of people, you skipped it.

@RebelliousSpirit
Thank you for the down vote.
I don't like your attitude or ways of thinking, but I don't down vote you.
You'll most likely be blocked today.
Have a good one.

@Budwick what i mean by 'adults in learning' is that they deserve the same amount of respect, consideration, and trust that adults give each other. They mah be young , but it doesnt mean they deserve to be tyrranised or ignored.

When a parent learns to treat their kids the same way they treat their adult friends you would be suprised at the dynamic change:
Kids learn that their opinion [b]can [/b]have value, that their contributions [b]can[/b] be respected, and that they wont be ridiculed for having their own opinions.
They are just young, yet to mature, adults.

Teenage years are very complex , they aren't kids , yet their minds are developing, their social awareness is expanding and they are having all the emotional wants that adults do : independence, ego , lust, social acceptance .

You would be suprised at what 12 year olds know today. Some are suffering sexual burn out from porn at 16, know heaps more it hacks than we do , and understand the changes in social culture better .

So yes, i stand by my attitude of treating them like adults . It serves me well in my job as i work at a high school.
Us staff expect the same standards, behaivour, responsibility and respect of our students as we do of our co workers . And we deal with issues from both in the same manner.

If you treat a teenager like a child , how do you expect them to learn to grow into a fully fledged adult by the time they reach about 20?

@SW-User i know where you are coming from.
I agree. It sux, but not as much as being embarasssed or put in danger, ....or dead in this case😔

I was the only parent to go to my kids sex education classes to see what they were teaching ....and it was embarassing for my kid. Id crossed a social boundry.

BUT.....when we got home, we had a huge conversation about sex, social expectations, gender, and love, blah blah blah. I got to undo the potential damamge of the biased teacher, who was evidently anti-gay, and anti sex outside marriage......which was her choice, but it wasnt today's reality .

I also got to answer all my kids questions, which many were skipped over in class.
We even googled stuff together on it.

So my kid then learnt a LOT about sex. They forgot their embarssment at school because their curiosity took over.
So much so, that in later years, their friends would ask them questions to refer ti me about sex, , coz they couldn't ask their own parents.
(which was kinda sad ....but fascinating)

Life IS risk, challenge, scary, embarrassing, difficult and fucking up.
And as to this thing about privacy , yes we do deserve some, but as you say, for our own safety, sometimes one needs to guage the greater evil : ignorance and danger vs lack of privacy and embarrassment .

From being embarrassed and made fun of
She learnt more than just about sex that day:

She learnt that sometimes you need to go beyond what everyone else accepts ....

She learnt that she could make her own educated choices about sex....

She learnt knowledge is power....

She learnt to cope with others ignorance...

And she learnt trust.

I think people forget that to make a cake you need to break some eggs.
Yeah , invading someone's privacy is horrible , i hate it. It makes you feel like crap.

But life isnt this easy thing where we all get what we want . Irs full of adversity .
And if you dont teach your kids to deal with adversity theyre screwed.

@OogieBoogie [quote]You would be suprised at what 12 year olds know today[/quote]

I'm even more surprised about what you are ignoring.
This post is about banning TikTok for complicating the lives of young people even more - irresponsibly.
Ignoring it is equally irresponsible.

Go to your room, and think about what you have done!

@Budwick How about you debate like a grown up and answen at least one question ive asked here :

'Did you do when you got dared to do things by your peers when you were growing up?'

In fact....i [b]dare [/b] you to answer it 😏

Now let's see you practice cognitive choice here .....

@OogieBoogie I never hung my self.

@Budwick still avoiding answering the quesrion.

Its very telling that you cant do it.

@OogieBoogie Dares are stupid.
My childhood friends and I never dared each other.

@Budwick oh really?
You were the [b]only [/b]group of kids who never dared each other ?

Fancy that .

@OogieBoogie Finally, we get to meet the kids group police!
that's right - no dares.
We were all pretty comfortable in our own skin, didn't have anything to prove to one another.
Something tells me you will have a hard time understanding that too.

@Budwick so comfortable in your own skin that you grew up to end your arguments with insults and threats of violence.

Are ya sure ?
Maybe you got stuck at 14 and havent emotionally or cognitively progressed any further ?

Coz name calling and hitting is kinda childish.

@OogieBoogie Yup - pretty comfy.

@Budwick most bullies are .

@OogieBoogie Are you still here?