Caring
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I Complain..., A Lot !

Pffft!

It is what it is...

I come here a lot more than I'd like to admit.
Most times I look at a ton of shit and say nothing.
I have literally read at least a million posts on this site.
Replying to probably less than 500.

Which probably sounds odd to anyone that looks at my profile and sees that I've posted One Thousand Three Hundred Twenty-Seven posts to date...
This is POST # 1,328

Ha !!!
That number just surprised me as well, and I am not easily surprised...

Anyways, given all of my many postings, I don't often engage others here.
Content as I am, to just sit and read and post my paltry things.
But that is not to be taken as if I do not care.
In fact, I think I care too much.
Which might just be the reason I choose a path of Mostly Silent Walking through the trails and corridors that present themselves here?

I've seen and done many things in this online life of mine.
I've made some mistakes that I care not to repeat.
Some of my current persona has earned me scorn and/or ridicule.
But I care not.
I just continue to do what I feel like doing if and when I feel like doing something.

People that come across me might have all kinds of varied assumptions of me as they read and/or interact with me.
A lot depends upon the day, or perhaps even the time of any particular day ?
Maybe they form their opinion off the words of a single post or song that I've chosen to share here for some reason of my own?
It's quite possible that most people that have read multiple things of mine are convinced that I am just a curmudgeonly old man with no faith, love, or belief in or of humanity?
But they'd be wrong to assume such a stark opinion of me based of snippets from the void of my mind which doesn't ever stop churning.

The thing is, I tend to post things here that have no other place of acceptance or tolerance.
Things that people much closer to me may misconstrue or deflect them from interactions with me.
Basically, I use this space as a repository for thoughts and rhymes that my inner circle need not ever see or contemplate.
Hundreds upon hundreds of rhymes.
Hundreds of rantings that make me seem as if I am only unhinged and unworthy of another day.
Hundreds of music videos that quite possibly tell a story of what I was feeling at that particular moment in time?

All in all, I enjoy this site in way that doesn't make sense to a lot of other site users.
I have very few friends.
I have very few blocked people.
I keep my interactions low.
But I am a very active user of the functions and versatility this site maintains.
Just as I was with The Experience Project.
(a place I learned many of the lessons I use as a guide for myself here)

Still, it's important for me to say, and for others to hear at times:

I am not unkind or uncaring.
I am not perpetually unhappy or without hope.
I do believe in humans and humanity in even the starkest of times.

If you're on my friends list, I have some true and everlasting love for you in a real way which I just can't express eloquently enough to not seem like a weirdo.

If I replied to something you wrote, you moved me in some type of fashion, and that's not easy to do.
You caused me to think, or feel, and I thank you profusely for doing so.
Others have moved me as well in such ways, but I wasn't able or in a mood to reply at those times.
But I am glad people share here and that this site exists on the ever-expanding foundation of your fingertips.

If I blocked you and you're seeing this from another profile..., Then you know the reasons because I told you those reasons straight up.
(and please, stop missing me and stalking me and pretending you aren't you - just get a real life, of a real life already)

Anyways, I just wanted anyone that cared to listen to know that what you see isn't what I am, but in this format, it's all you're likely to get.

So....
Be well
Live happy
Keep trying,
Rob
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LadyBronte · 56-60, F
Very nice - thanks for sharing.

I do feel like I could have written bits of it myself.

This is also where I come to unleash, and to write out of my head, the things I choose not to share elsewhere.

The people in my life expect certain things from me, but negativity and depression - ie honest emotion - are not among them. So my posts here, (that often make people erroneously believe I am nothing more than a one-dimensional, sad, man-hating, drama-ridden, old broad. Lol.) are actually quite cathartic.

The lessons I have learned along the way, have served to make me more introspective and quite a bit less carefree than I once was. I choose a quieter route now and I rarely engage with anyone I haven't known for quite some time.

Like you, there are times I comment on what moves me, or makes me think. Other times, while a post may pique my interest, I remain silent. It stems, not from the quality of the post itself, but from my mood on the given day.

I do remember your profile from EP and for years have enjoyed the beautifully expressed thoughts and feelings in your poetry and other works - it is apparent your words are from the heart regardless of the subject matter.

Through the years, you and I have had some interaction on our respective posts, and I have always appreciated your comments.

Keep posting! While I might not always comment, your works are a source of enjoyment here for me.
HikingMan · 51-55, M
@LadyBronte Hello, my lovely friend. Thank you for the thoughtful reply.
I consider myself lucky to know you.
Not once have I ever thought of you as one dimensional, or old. A lady, yes.

Peace
HikingMan · 51-55, M
*EDIT of CONTENT FACTS*

I have grossly underestimated the amount of my replies.
After a thorough review of my replies on this site the actual number is 2,983 replies.
But my guess is that are a lot of those are back and forth things that went on and on, or include a fair number of replies like this that state some type of clarification or correction on my own posts.

Though given the fact that my actual post number was three times higher than I expected, and my replies are 5 times more than I thought, I bet the number of posts I've read are at least double what I assumed was a million posts read?

Who knows?
I sure don't !
That is lovely. And I am glad you have this space to express yourself in, as you choose.
faery · 31-35, F
Ok, Rob. Have a good one

 
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