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OlderSometimesWiser a relief to be able to “do your own thing” at your home base
Absolutely, I felt lighter somehow when I started wearing skirts at home. It's all very silly really, all the problems so far have been inside my head rather than out in the world.
curious if your wife knew about your dressing before she passed.
That's a little difficult to be sure about. Long before I started dressing in obviously feminine outer clothes I started wearing women's thongs. But that was as much as anything else just a case of finding comfortable underwear. It happened, like so much of my life, more or less by accident. Over thirty years my wife and I were shopping one day and I noticed a display of male thongs and thought I'd try them. They were not really any good so I didn't wear them often. They weren't much lighter than the undies I was already wearing. Then a few months later we were on holiday in the UK and my wife wanted to buy some new knickers so we went to Marks and Spencer. While she was roaming the aisles deciding exactly what to buy I had nothing to do but look at the various undies and I noticed that they also sold thongs but that they were much lighter and stretchier than the male ones I had bought. They were quite cheap so I picked up a packet of them and dropped them in the shopping basket. My wife didn't react at all. From that day on I have never worn male undies, not specifically because I prefer feminine undies but simply because they are so much more comfortable!
My dressing started a few years later but just as a lark to occupy boring hotel room evenings when away from home on business. I threw away all my fem clothes before going home. But I started to wear more fem jewellery. And my wife said to me once after we had visited her brother that his wife had referred to me saying "He has his feminine side!".
I never dressed fem at home while my wife was alive but she was quite perceptive so it's quite possible that she saw in me some of what I did not at the time. For most of that time I didn't really think of dressing as anything other than a sexual thing to pass the time in idle moments when away from home.
tell me to shut up if I’m getting too personal.
Not at all. A large part of the reason for this blog is precisely to have this kind of conversation. It helps me clarify my own ideas, to discover my self.
One of the great things about the web is that because of the distance between us I can always simply ignore anything I don't like or that makes me feel too uncomfortable. Were we in the same room such conversations would be much harder for me.
Nina xx
