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Not Coping Well with Soberness

It's like I forget how bad being fully conscious to the shitty reality around me truly is when I've gone a while without being sober. (And if you think it's so great I think you're selfish or delusional personally.) Then my weed person takes like a week to ship my stuff even when I pay for expedited shipping, and I have to suffer facing reality in full again.

I'm not proud to admit I'm so desperate I decided to dig some bits of weed out of my futon creases to smoke today. I don't like being so reliant on drugs now, but the truth is my quality of life falls below the acceptable line when I don't have them nowadays. And I can't eat or sleep hardly at all when I take a break, my favorite things (and cats). It's never worth it. I know weed only works because it makes you not care as much and be satisfied with less, but sometimes when there is no real solution to your problems or when they are out of your control then I don't see the problem with that.
hunkalove · 61-69, M
I'm on my 32nd day. Not really a big deal, I just can't afford good German beer anymore and I'm not about to pollute my precious bodily fluids with that American swill.
Convivial · 26-30, F
There's always solutions, some may not be palatable, but they exist
WhyThooo · 31-35
@Convivial Unfortunately not. It's alright though, weed is doing it for me at the moment, as long as I have it, and is relatively cheap and accessible.
Convivial · 26-30, F
@WhyThooo ok.... Just think about a better future for yourself... Good luck
WhyThooo · 31-35
@Convivial Hahahaha thanks.
Doomflower · 36-40, M
Oh this explains a lot.

Give it a month or two and it gets much easier. Weed is very habit forming and when you come to rely on it for your happy chemicals it can take a while for appetite and sleep to return. Hang in there.
JamesBugman · 56-60, T
You need to find your focus, and not live your life trying to make time go by faster. Life is something to enjoy. I hope you find it one day.
WhyThooo · 31-35
@JamesBugman If I didn't have the problems I do I would agree with you. And I'm not trying to make it go faster.
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WhyThooo · 31-35
@whowasthatmaskedman Yeah that's why I like it. It makes me dumb enough to be somewhat happy. Sometimes ignorance or not noticing things is better. And what do you mean do people deserve' better from / of me? Have you seen the way I interact with people when I'm sober? At least when I'm high I can zone out in my own little world, live and let live, and accept all the bullshit instead of try to solve all the world's issues by shouting into the void.
whowasthatmaskedman · 70-79, M
@WhyThooo Let me clue you in. No one can solve the worlds problems. Thats human nature. You dont need to smookw weed. You need to downsize. Work in the problems of a scale that you can control. In my case, my immediate family is doing fine, because I can control that. Not everyone can get that lucky. But you can start with you..😷
WhyThooo · 31-35
@whowasthatmaskedman lol omg ur so wise

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