This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »
4meAndyou · F
Yes. I began smoking when I was 18. I was still married to the 1st ex. I had befriended an au paire girl from France, who worked for friends of my parents, and I thought she looked SO cool when she smoked her Gitanes! They had gold filters, and the way she held the cigarette was hard to describe, backwards.
Naturally, because I was just 18, I wanted to copy her, and I begged a cig from her every time we went to play tennis. Then I ended up buying my own, because she said her cigs were very hard to find. I bought Eve's 100's, because the filters were pretty.
I smoked until I was 36 years old...chain smoked for about 5 years...lit one off the other, practically.
I quit cold turkey. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, but my 3rd ex had quit, and then decided he didn't want to kiss me anymore, and told me so. VERY painful. I can't tell you how much I resented him for saying that to me. I WANTED to quit...felt like I was chained to an ashtray...but I hadn't wanted anger with the third ex to be part of the equation.
The only way I could quit was using the substitution method. Cigarette smoking is an oral fixation, and a HABIT...because you want a cigarette LONG after all the nicotine has exited your body...so every time I wanted a cigarette I popped a breath savers breath mint into my mouth.
I realized quite early that I could not even pick up ONE cigarette and smoke it...because it was SOOO Hard to quit that even one would have collapsed that house of cards.
Perhaps most shocking to me was what happened 10 YEARS LATER!!! I was working at the Homeless Shelter, and one of the residents had left a package of cigarettes on top of the pay phone. I wanted one!!! I picked up the package, SO tempted I can't describe it, thinking to myself, "No one would ever know!" And fought with myself and won. Because you can't sneak them. You can't have just one because your entire effort would have been for nothing.
Naturally, because I was just 18, I wanted to copy her, and I begged a cig from her every time we went to play tennis. Then I ended up buying my own, because she said her cigs were very hard to find. I bought Eve's 100's, because the filters were pretty.
I smoked until I was 36 years old...chain smoked for about 5 years...lit one off the other, practically.
I quit cold turkey. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, but my 3rd ex had quit, and then decided he didn't want to kiss me anymore, and told me so. VERY painful. I can't tell you how much I resented him for saying that to me. I WANTED to quit...felt like I was chained to an ashtray...but I hadn't wanted anger with the third ex to be part of the equation.
The only way I could quit was using the substitution method. Cigarette smoking is an oral fixation, and a HABIT...because you want a cigarette LONG after all the nicotine has exited your body...so every time I wanted a cigarette I popped a breath savers breath mint into my mouth.
I realized quite early that I could not even pick up ONE cigarette and smoke it...because it was SOOO Hard to quit that even one would have collapsed that house of cards.
Perhaps most shocking to me was what happened 10 YEARS LATER!!! I was working at the Homeless Shelter, and one of the residents had left a package of cigarettes on top of the pay phone. I wanted one!!! I picked up the package, SO tempted I can't describe it, thinking to myself, "No one would ever know!" And fought with myself and won. Because you can't sneak them. You can't have just one because your entire effort would have been for nothing.
4meAndyou · F
@DisciplineMentor Thank you!